A thud, a scream, a fallen dream
A punch, a kick, you move so quick
A cut, a bruise, my pride i loose
A rip, a tear, my skin is bare
I weep, i cry, i want to die
You sit, you stare, you just don't care
A girl, a boy, she is his toy
A thud, a scream, a fallen dream...
A contest entry
- 10 lines........15 minutes by Celticmoon.
300 points, ended February 12, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - blades or love??... by my savior-pedro.
300 points, ended March 22, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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sad.. i've been thru an abusive relationship before and i have felt like this. so yea. pretty poem tho. i love it!! brought back memories and almost made me cry.. well, good luck! and thank you SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for entering.
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Wow. This really could have a multitude of stories, love it! For me I am caught between a rape and just a girl falling prey to her boyfriend. the line "you sit, you stare, you just don't care" sort of confuzes me however, because until then it had seemed like a sex theme.
Nice writing
~WU -
This piece reads both hard and fast. It's as if your words were telling this tale in a super speed; almost as if it were something that one would be ashamed of , like a secret of sorts. Trying to tell the story before anyone can truly grasp it.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
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