I watched you die today,
and I watched them put you in the ground.
There was nothing I could do to save you.
Was it all my fault,
and why do I feel like I'm in hell,
while all the light shines down around me?
The stench of your death still lingers,
tearing at my mind.
I felt like I couldn't remember,
anything I said that day,
as I watched you die.
It is all because I watched you die today,
and as they put you in the ground,
I finally shead one tear,
because I knew it was all my fault...
A contest entry
- Black and white....................... by Starswhispers.
500 points, ended February 15, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I like it
I like it,its very sad and powerful.
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Aww, sweetie don't blame yourself, we all leave this earth for a reason, it is just our time to go it's nobody's fault, I sympathize for you and what you are going through but please don't blame yourself the sentence "I shead one tear" the word shead is mispelled its "shed" lovely write you penned here I can feel the emotion dripping from this page as I was reading this, well done dear poet good luck in the contest
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I have seen you have made some revisions, thanks avery sad and nice poem.
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This is quite a lovely piece very powerful and touching, death life and light, I wish you would revise the punctuation or absence of it, it would help greatly. I will read all poems few times and will judge according to the last version. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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nice work sorry i am not saying more i am just upset
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