If I said goodbye
would you really care
Would you even miss me
If I wasn't there
If I wasn't there
would you even miss me
Would you really care
If I said goodbye
Author notes
I just thought this would be fun
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Loved this....the way you mirrored the form and with repetition all in its own way..This is beautifulll...always a thought-provoking question and goes great with the picture.. Awesome...once again....~~Your kindred sistah~
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If that’s what you do “just for fun” I’m going to have to spend some time reading your work. It’s beautiful! Your verbiage creates a flow that amplifies your vivid image. The meter is perfect along with the structure. Well done! Amera
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Odd-ish . . .
I loved the fusion of diction and rhythm you've created here. I didn't enjoy the ending, but I rarely do enjoy endings. The reversal of the rhyme shceme threw my attention off. But the simplicity of the poem and yet the impactive message behind it led me through until that last line. I think if you rearranged them, it would improve the rhythm and alter the message slightly, giving more symbolism. But, hell, you're the author.
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Love it!
I love it. Not only is it well written and very emotional as well as clear it is also a question I have asked mysef so many times before. Nice job
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oh, nicely done.....and it could go on andon...because, most times, we do not have the danged answer.... and,most likely, neither do they!
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The mirrored form certainly lends to an interesting effect, given the mood this week with regards to love, both found and lost... I enjoyed this...
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