The Other Side of Love
This is the story of love gone awry
Your mouth will be left bitter and dry
One party pledged her life to the end
This drove the other around the bend
Upon separation things turned nasty
A lot was said, all much to hasty
“Everything I bought you, I want it all back”
Such hurtful things were just her knack
Time went by things seemed to have changed
So a date for coffee they planed and arranged
Feeling awkwardly they ordered coffee and cake
Smiling pleasantly they both knew it was fake
My feelings for you they have not died
Myself to sleep every night I have cried
The confession came as a shock to the other
As that one was betrothed to her lover
I’m getting married in a couple of weeks
These words made the other one bleak
At this point things turned foul
One of them let out a piercing yell
Jealousy overrode her aching heart
Her life had now been torn apart
Picking up the sharp, cold, glistening knife
She stabbed her ex lover, and took her life
As her ex lover lay bleeding on the floor
She made her way to the open door
Jumping over the railing way up high
To the ground below she fell to die
Bound together in their ghostly demise
Echoing screams of love’s lost cries
Forever unhappy in an untimely death
Her lover mourns her till her last breath
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Whew that is one powerful poem. I really enjoyed the read (and the story it has to it). The rhyming is excellent and I like how the final paragraph ends it all, particularly "bound together in their ghostly demise". Excellent.
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Thank you for stopping by and reading this
it is greatly appreciated
ang
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oh boy
Ang! I'm speechless... after having my g/f break up with me i was really pissed off! I would love to print this poem out and give it to her.
I've sat across the table from her and all i want to do is stand up and smash her head into the table repeatedly! So i can understand the ex lover in this!
Funny how the line between love and hate is always so fine.
I'm going out with Claire to playground on Sat... so if you see my name in the papers on monday you know why! LOL
xXx
B
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Excellent Ang loved it. Can feel the pain. Both physical and emotional.
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thank you Maro glad you read this
ang
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WOW
Wow Girl, what an amazing way to rid yourself of the emotions that you have for too long been botteling up! This is such a strong and powerfull write, that I was totally taken by suprise. One of your best and def most powerfull to date!
Thank you for having the courage to put these words and emotions down, theredy acknowledging the anger from wich this artwork flowed.
your fried always
~Dins~
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thanks Naids, as i said below this started off in anger, but because i could not finish it then and only finished it yesterday the mood changed. we get hurt by what we do and we live through it, at times i wished i could just die so that i did not have to feel what i was, but in the end, well im still here feeling and loving and living.
thanks for reading and commenting my friend, long time to see or hear
ang
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AMAZING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOWOWOWWOWOWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BRILLIANT, DARK, POWERFUL AND JUST BREATHTAKINGLY SUPERB. WHAT A PIECE OF WRITING THIS IS. ANG, YOU WOULD DEFINATELY MAKE IT AS A 'DARK' WRITER
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Thank you so much for commenting my dearest Brother, this took a while to write as it began in anger, once that dissapated this was the result.
love you stax my Brother
ang
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Another Knife
Well done you have done it again, brilliant as always but would we expect less.
I would never willingly hurt you, and most definately would never take your life. Yes things were said in anger from both of us. I guess the part that hurts the most is that even though you "came back" you were betrothed to another.
As you said recently, I wonder if those who read this would be interested in reading the other side of the story...
I haven't and will never give up on us, it hurts that you begrudge me any happiness because ... (I don't even know why) A movie and couple of drinks that get me out of this shell of a house does not a relationship make. Please don't begrudge me a simple friendship. Your friendship means more than anything to me, and yes I would forsake all others for that friendship. Somewhere you know that you want and need me to be a part (and I don't mean relationship part) of your life as much as I need and want you to be a part of mine.
I have never let you down when you have needed help and you know that, and I never will
Good luck with the wedding!
the dead lover
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this was done from where and what i felt. if you read yourself into it what can i say or do?
ang
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hmmm ...
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that took me by surprise, double death. The quatrain form you used adds strength and the rhymes were done fairly well. Thanks for sharing.
jim -
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thank you so much for reading and commenting, i really truly appreciate it. my rhyming skills are by no means fantastic but i do try
thanks again
ang
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There's a lot of emotion here expressed vividly in parts and an overwhelming sense of sadness. Is this your experience?
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parts of it are from personal experience, thankfully i have not (yet) been killed LOL.
thank you for stopping past to read and comment it is greatly appreciated.
ang
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Is this...
is this a lesbian love gone wrong? Just wondering. It's beautifully set up, the way you have the words twisted in just the right way to make it rhyme. It also has a good story. You've got a good write here...Keep it up!!!
S~A~E -
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thank you for reading and commenting SAE, yes it is based on lesbian love
ang
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