The One That I Call Me

This is not a poem
It is a story
The story of a man
The story of a boy
The story of all that I am
Have you ever had a bad day?
Welcome to the past six years of my life
Sometimes you can laugh through it
Sometimes you can't
I have problems
Many problems
More than I want to count
More than I want to solve
Corrupted at ten years old
Maybe younger
Ten was the age I became addicted
By an accident of my own innocence
That innocence is gone
Now only destruction lives
It stays with me
Haunting me
Causing more and more problems
My mind, though wonderous, is evil
Wonderous and treacherous

Do you know what it's like to put a gun to your head?

My brain simulates it for me daily

This is my lot

This is my story

A mind that fills me with joy

Then slowly kills me with guilt and strife

A mind that gives me opinion and thought

Then in an instant brings waves of would be tears

Life is a fallacy

Only death exists here

Understanding is of no importance

I have no place

In your life or mine

Nothing

All that I am

All my thoughts

Destroyed by what I am

Product of my environment

The environment that I designed

Goodbye

All is now done

I return to pondering the existance

Of all that you will ever be