Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Chase (forever in Twili)


the sky is shedding ashes
from the [twilight]
for a brief moment I catch my breath
I see her face in between
and I'm changing from my former self
to this heavy hearted beast
her scent lingers in my [imagination]
that is floating [tragically]

my hand (paw) is aching
am I a shadow in this [mystic] land
like the others that are [blotched]
together like [ink] [stains] I can't
fight through

my teeth gnaw at the chain
tied ever so tightly around my ankle
in the distance I hear a cry
a [frantic] call for saving
I need to get out of here
rip myself from this [tangled] mess

  (follow the scent)

out the window I see the tormented palace
all that was once beautiful before it
[perished] in misery soaked fascination
from a [ghostly] figure begging
DEMANDING to be called King

I run on the rooftops trying to sense
where have they gone? I question
I cannot lose them now ...

and through colossal vultures
three inch fanged bats
I hurry through the [labyrinth]
my skin ripping from the piercing wind
my eyes watering from pain.hurt.regret.guilt
my [obsession] with bringing them
back to life
is haunting my beastly frame

if I do not reach her in time
I will be alive at my [funeral]
weeping what was never mine
a soiled [lullaby] will be inscribed
on my marker for . . . ever

my soul's spirit has been [splattered]
[misled] into this shadow world
that has been [inhabited] by slaves
of a demonic King

  (I NEED to find her)

when I reach the edge of the castle roof
I see a [frail] body, broken
her [delicate] flower [severed]
by a stranger's tongue
I huddle my transformed shape beside her
try to whisper certainties of seeing the Light again
but a howl comes out instead

to save all of this
life | her | world
I must rise as a Hero
and slay the King
sentence him to life
in a forever dark [abyss]

Author notes

Option 1.

This is about the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and Link's journey to find Ilia. It's a little more twisted, of course, but it's based on it. If you haven't played the game ... Link turned into a wolf when he is in the other side called the "Twilight"

In a list

A contest entry

Comments

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • OurxBeginning
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, very different from the other entries I've commented so far. I liked the imagery in this, very creative. I liked the ending, sums it up nicely. Thanks for entering and good luck. ~~


  • Bruised.Roses
    February 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was defintly different as it was bassed on a video game but i think that it was very great and creative and dark..your a very talented author good luck in our contest

    XTashaX


  • tinuelena
    February 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty awesome, even though I've never played the game... I love the story... all the brackets and parentheses kind of distracted me though. I know some of them are needed, but some aren't.

    ...by the way I think I'm in love with this verse:

    if I do not reach her in time
    I will be alive at my [funeral]
    weeping what was never mine
    a soiled [lullaby] will be inscribed
    on my marker for . . . ever

    honestly... how do you write like this?


    • sweetpearl
      February 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      the square brackets are just there for words I took from the word bank ... I know they can be distracting but I can't bold or anything so it has to do

      Thanks for reading this piece, actually. I am really hard up on my Zelda inspired pieces. I like to get feedback on them. Your question though, hmm, I don't know how to answer that, heh


  • ZorroTheFox silver member
    February 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was a fun read and interesting too.


  • TheCrazyBeautiful
    February 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I was slightly distracted while reading this, and reading it over didn't seem to help me much. Just a bad day, and thoughts constantly running through my mind, so I don't have much to say, but I'll pick out some lines I liked.

    "[perished] in misery soaked fascination
    from a [ghostly] figure begging
    DEMANDING to be called King"

    "my [obsession] with bringing them
    back to life
    is haunting my beastly frame"

    "I will be alive at my [funeral]
    weeping what was never mine"

    I liked those



  • Mildew in PinK tile
    February 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i wish i knew what this was about b/c i never actually played zelda but all that aside i love how you wrote this! beautiful darlin'


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    February 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome write! This is different then the other entries ive read up to date..its very unique and different.i really enjoyed reading this..your words were strong and powerful and you did a great job not only at using the word bank but as to basing your poem on a video game with a twsit was awesome and very creative! keep writting you are very talented. thanks for entering our contest and good luck

    ~Chrissy~

1 - 8 of 8