the sky is shedding ashes
from the [twilight]
for a brief moment I catch my breath
I see her face in between
and I'm changing from my former self
to this heavy hearted beast
her scent lingers in my [imagination]
that is floating [tragically]
my hand (paw) is aching
am I a shadow in this [mystic] land
like the others that are [blotched]
together like [ink] [stains] I can't
fight through
my teeth gnaw at the chain
tied ever so tightly around my ankle
in the distance I hear a cry
a [frantic] call for saving
I need to get out of here
rip myself from this [tangled] mess
(follow the scent)
out the window I see the tormented palace
all that was once beautiful before it
[perished] in misery soaked fascination
from a [ghostly] figure begging
DEMANDING to be called King
I run on the rooftops trying to sense
where have they gone? I question
I cannot lose them now ...
and through colossal vultures
three inch fanged bats
I hurry through the [labyrinth]
my skin ripping from the piercing wind
my eyes watering from pain.hurt.regret.guilt
my [obsession] with bringing them
back to life
is haunting my beastly frame
if I do not reach her in time
I will be alive at my [funeral]
weeping what was never mine
a soiled [lullaby] will be inscribed
on my marker for . . . ever
my soul's spirit has been [splattered]
[misled] into this shadow world
that has been [inhabited] by slaves
of a demonic King
(I NEED to find her)
when I reach the edge of the castle roof
I see a [frail] body, broken
her [delicate] flower [severed]
by a stranger's tongue
I huddle my transformed shape beside her
try to whisper certainties of seeing the Light again
but a howl comes out instead
to save all of this
life | her | world
I must rise as a Hero
and slay the King
sentence him to life
in a forever dark [abyss]
Author notes
Option 1.
This is about the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and Link's journey to find Ilia. It's a little more twisted, of course, but it's based on it. If you haven't played the game ... Link turned into a wolf when he is in the other side called the "Twilight"
In a list
A contest entry
- ♥Wordbank and titles contest♥ by OurxBeginning.
500 points, ended March 25, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Interesting, very different from the other entries I've commented so far. I liked the imagery in this, very creative. I liked the ending, sums it up nicely. Thanks for entering and good luck. ~
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This was defintly different as it was bassed on a video game but i think that it was very great and creative and dark..your a very talented author good luck in our contest
XTashaX -
This is pretty awesome, even though I've never played the game... I love the story... all the brackets and parentheses kind of distracted me though. I know some of them are needed, but some aren't.
...by the way I think I'm in love with this verse:
if I do not reach her in time
I will be alive at my [funeral]
weeping what was never mine
a soiled [lullaby] will be inscribed
on my marker for . . . ever
honestly... how do you write like this?
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the square brackets are just there for words I took from the word bank ... I know they can be distracting but I can't bold or anything so it has to do
Thanks for reading this piece, actually. I am really hard up on my Zelda inspired pieces. I like to get feedback on them. Your question though, hmm, I don't know how to answer that, heh
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this was a fun read and interesting too.
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Well, I was slightly distracted while reading this, and reading it over didn't seem to help me much. Just a bad day, and thoughts constantly running through my mind, so I don't have much to say, but I'll pick out some lines I liked.
"[perished] in misery soaked fascination
from a [ghostly] figure begging
DEMANDING to be called King"
"my [obsession] with bringing them
back to life
is haunting my beastly frame"
"I will be alive at my [funeral]
weeping what was never mine"
I liked those
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i wish i knew what this was about b/c i never actually played zelda but all that aside i love how you wrote this! beautiful darlin'
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Awesome write! This is different then the other entries ive read up to date..its very unique and different.i really enjoyed reading this..your words were strong and powerful and you did a great job not only at using the word bank but as to basing your poem on a video game with a twsit was awesome and very creative! keep writting you are very talented. thanks for entering our contest and good luck
~Chrissy~
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