I took the last little pink pill today
that means it's coming
the urge to vomit
the floor falling away from my feet
hands grabbing, shoving, tearing, outside and in
confusion and pain and fear filling up my head
feeling so gross I want to peel off my skin
and scream and scream and scream
In a list
work in progress
Comments
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I can ALMOST relate to this- a neighbor we had was once raped while she was sleeping (she'd taken Nyquil, and the guests were supposed to leave but didn't) and to this day I regret not coming up when I heard noise- but they usually made noise when they wanted me to come socialize and that night I was too tired. I wonder if I could have prevented it just by being someone awake and aware.
My ex husband raped me but the saddest part is his family was forcing us to try for a child. I am grateful every day for it never happening with him, and find it ironic that it unexpectedly happened with my current husband. Although we weren't devastated when the pill failed, I'm sure you would be. So I hope for your sake it didn't. And I also hope you never experience it again and are able to move on and find someone you trust to give you positive things to associate with the act. -
i have no idea what this is about, i seriously am not in the right state of mind to think today, but it doesn't come to me easily either what the pill could be. but your writing was so vivid and full of so much pain and hurt. i loved the repetition of scream, it really emphasised how much whatever this was hurt, and yes indeed screamed out at you
<33
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I Get It
I get this big time. After I was raped I couldn't get out of the shower. I turned the water up screachingly hot and scrubbed myself until my skin felt raw. Even that wasn't enough.
"Once he forces himself in, you can never get him out."
~Mia
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