insanity devouring my mind to the brim
all good and purity is to forever dim
shining hopes in dreams at the bottom of a well
but my hopes and dreams are going through pure hell
battered and beaten angel wings
they've been through whatever the devil brings
staggering power running through my blue flowing veins
but I have to deal with whatever evil attains
the world and its enemies go dark
because the sun has taken it's last remark
as im swallowed by glowing red embers
god is getting me back for all he remembers
hallow screams from a dark fierce room
god sits and watches for good to resume
it never does and we all suffer
we would be ok if god was tougher
I see a glimmer of color in my eye
it's enough to make any soft soul cry
darkness is leaning on my heart
and good has now fallen apart
in good and bad in happy and sad
the things I thought for so long I had
Author notes
Option3.
I know everyone has a "Favorite Poem" so this is your
chance to enter it and show it off. So a pre-write will be accepted!!!
A contest entry
- I Want Words! by SoundofMadness.
450 points, ended February 15, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by Teesa.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your prewrites!!!!! by Nereida Nightshade.
450 points, ended February 19, 2007, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Change by Bill Robertson.
450 points, ended February 20, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Galore and Nothing More by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Search for the best AP Poet by wolfcub.
600 points, ended March 1, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - show me your talent by Kiss ME Deadly.
300 points, ended March 13, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Hundred Poems by Lady-Pegasus.
700 points, ended April 10, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need an AP Family and I have 3 great OPTIONS 4 U!!!!!!! by Desiree-Valdez.
1150 points, ended May 23, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So You Think You Have Soul?? by Trixie08.
300 points, ended September 2, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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It's a good idea and I like that; however, while the rhyming is also natural, your metre was choppy and that detracted from what you had to say.
ITS: a possessive.
IT'S: it is.
Thanks for entering my contest, y buena suerte!
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idk what metre is =p. lol o well tyvm for reading!!
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Whoa!
This is an amazing poem, the rhyme seems so natural and not forced. The poem has great imagery and invokes much power. -
I have to agree this is by far one of your best poems, great job!!!
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ty =)
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Thank you for your contest submission, I do need to ask you review the rules and edit your submission appropriately. Please IM me and let me know this has been done, thank you.
This is a unique piece to be certain, and find it well done, although it kinda seemed to lose some of its oomph towards the end. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e * 
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Wow...
although this poem challenges everything I believe in...I have to admit it's AMAZING...
You are so very talented ...
Heidi
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Dark and powerful
You have writte a very provocative poem, that takes the reader into the darkness with you, Yes if god could have been tougher, amazing write, John
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Deep and dark, I find it amazing the subject matter people come up with. I often look at people and wonder what they are thinking.
"God is getting me back for all he remembers. Tha really is tough -
Quite a deep meaning in this - you have to look hard to udnerstand some of this. Brilliant title! Rhymes could maybe be better, considering the quality of the rest of this piece!
Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
Katie -
Wow, quite interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Peace out!
Cassie
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2nd line in the last stanza i do believe that 'fell' should be 'fallen' but other that little thing, this poem was amazing.
i love the idea of questioning such a thing!
and the description was incredible.
great write
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excellent
Very nice, deep meaning held beneath those heavy words to cut through the soul. The rhyming makes it flow very well, but it sometimes makes it so that your imagery suffers. To me, that's the most important; however, still an excellent poem. A very true anthem for today
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tyvm for you comment!! it means alot!
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this is really powerfully written i like the use of rhyme throughout the poem.
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tyvm
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wonderful start
Your title is very powerful. I like that. But watch that your rhyme scheme doesn't get in the way of your meaning...and spelling, of course. I do really like the fourth stanza, though. Keep writing, it's the only way to get better.
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tyvm
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This was a nice poem. I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in my contest!
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excellent
This is by far the best piece I have read of yours,
I like it a lot I think it will do great in the contest seriously. I am vaery impressed by it!!!! Great job.
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aww
lol wow, thx alot for the comment lol. means alot =)
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