*{Prince Charming}*
([we both know what it's like to be alone])
--[smoke ring][hypocrisy]--
*[technicolor] lies*
([i know you have a heavy heart, i can feel it when we kiss,
so many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out
trying to lift it)]
*@-[nameless][whores]reflected in his [eyes]-@*
--[poison][love]--
d r i p s
from [liar's][lips]
([i've waited all my life to find an [angel] like you])
[dirty][hearts]
N-E-V-E-R
speak truth
([i'll give you the [stars] and the moon~i promise to
[n e v e r]
leave you [alone] again])
*([I DO!!!])*
([I now pronounce you
terminally [emotionally]
v o i d])
*!@Mr-and-Mrs-JackAss@!*
forever and ever
*&A M E N&*
knight in shining armor
[fallen][angel]
on
white horse
[black][cloud]
[blue][sparkle]
in
*innocent*[eyes]
long
[g o n e]
-*([pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything])*-
conveniently [forgotten]
m e m o r i e s
[n-a-m-e-l-e-s-s][sluts]
surrounding
*hello*
*you don't know me*
*what do you want*
*i fucked your husband last night*
([your lipstick, his collar, don't bother angel,
i know exactly what goes on])
holes [carved]
in
my
s o u l
like [fishnets]
on the
fatigued legs
of a
[hollywood][whore]
([i hate everything about you, why do i love you?])
i *loved*
you [cheated]
all that [glitters]
isn't [always] gold
([baby, i love you. you're the only one for me])
[diamond] tennis bracelet
[kiss] me with your lies
*-try my reality on for size-*
([i love you, you hate me, the story's getting old])
*[crazy] collected [ana]*
on your
[rainbow] coalition
of
[s l u t s]
([you don't like what you see? Y O U created this bitch so cold])
sanity
s t r e t c h e d
like dollar store
[nylons]
[neon] hatred
b b l s
u b e
like a
[lava lamp]
([i'm changing my name from Mrs. JackAss to Ms. KissMyAss])
**pure**&**true**
to
[cut-out] replica
of
societized
B I T C H
inhale
E X H A L E
count to [T E N]
love no longer
c o a r s i n g
through **veins**
--->bitterness injected<---
//slashed\\ heart
[bleeds]
despicable **a n g s t**
B I T E my
delicious soul
the way you love to
TO PUT IT NICELY[i hope you choke]
Author notes
WOW....
this piece challenged me FOR REALLY REAL!!!!!!!
Here's what I did...
I used MANY of the options that were available:
*OPTION ONE*
PICK ONE OF THESE LINES.
get inspired by it! you may include it in your poem if you'd like to.
c)i know you have a heavy heart, i can feel it when we kiss. so many men stronger than me have thrown their backs trying to lift it.
e) i love you, you hate me, the stories getting old.
f) we both know what its like to be alone
n) pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
o) i hate everything about you, why do i love you?
*OPTION 3*
WORD BANK.
*******make sure you [put the words in brackets]*******
A=
dirty
liar
whore
cheated
smoke ring
starrs
nameless
technicolor
hypocrisy
love
lips
B=
crazy
fuck
hearts
diamond
eyes
glitter
hollywood
never
hate
forgotten
poison
c=
slut
bleed
carve
blue
cut-out
nylon
neon
lava lamp
angel
always
kiss
D=
emotions
ana
ten
rainbow
black
cloud
sparkle
gone
fallen
alone
fishnets
*OPTION 5*
USE ONE OF THESE AS YOUR TITLE.
- to put it nicely [i hope you choke]
*OPTION 9*
i want imagery. things that have more than one meaning. && a >>hell<< of [[a lot]] of r.a.n.d.o.m. //punctuation// x♥x
*OPTION 11*
gimme something really RAW & ANGSTY & ANGRYYY.
I've never written a piece like this...
but it definitely challenged the heck out of my mind!!!
Thanks for the contest !!!!!!!!!!
In a list
- Angst for the Ex • next in list
- Honorable Mention-the green bling • next in list
- Gold Bling • next in list
A contest entry
- *Say Cheese* by Hell In Harmony.
425 points, ended February 25, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - D.i.r.t.y.p.r.e.t.t.y by Crimson Lotus.
600 points, ended March 23, 2007, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - strung out && b r o k e n more than an old cassette by PaintedParisPassion.
600 points, ended December 24, 2007, 65 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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wow, this is so intense and absolutely amazing! ^-^ Wonderful written. =] Excellent imagery. Congratulations on your trophies you defiantly deserve them. awesome write
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this is fucking insane.
i [absolutely] love it, bookmarked fo' sho'.
damn darling. i don't even care that this is like, forever old. its amazing.
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oh wow..this was a really great write...i really really enjoyed reading this and found your words very powerful and emotional as well..this must have been a challenge for you keep writting your very talented
~Chrissy~ -
I tried to read and read your poems but until now i could not grasp whats the message behind. The use of so many sign marks and asteries makes your poem distructed its actual beauty. i know there is substance through this poem if not it will not won gold. perhaps this is your style or you did gave style into your poem. style is good provided its written in good form. as your style in this poem i could not grasp a word. sorry i am just giving you what i saw with your poem. there's no need to give you flattery but disect it to be able to understand what is true poetry. congratulations for winning.
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Personally I think word bank contests are among the most difficult to creatively comply with. It requires a measure of empathy to adjust to rather volatile patterns that have taken place in other minds in a different place and time. But I guess your mind appreciates a good challenge. Some events go beyond the borders of challenge; there is nothing good in betrayal, not in the act, not in the perpetrators. I believe you have painted this agonizing situation quite well in this poem. It is a process of dealing with the past, of finding the lack of reason that lead to such despiccable conduct. Powerful spirits such as yours will however inevitably perfect their own patterns of reasoning - it is not merely a wish, but an insuppressible urge invoked by the destined path they walk through life. It leads to The Light even if at times they are flooded by darkness, because in extremis logic and Love are one and the same. Stay strong,
U
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good
I think this w as great wirte. You had a lot emotion here. I wish you well in the contest. great job.
-
wow...thats really all i can say:: wow. that is a truely emotional piece. it was a little scattered but i think that give it even more feeling. the imagery is fantastic and well...i just love it!
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I L~O~V~E This poem so much ♥ Dollface, this is Amazing. I love all the pretty imagery, the the random puncuation. I l.o.v.e the emotions in this poem, it's so pretty, but in a dirty way, which is what I wanted *pounces* I love this ♥ Thankies for entering Dollface ♥
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awesome imagery here:
*@-[nameless][whores]reflected in his [eyes]-@*
--[poison][love]--
d r i p s
from [liar's][lips]
&& this stanza
was flawless as well:
conveniently [forgotten]
m e m o r i e s
[n-a-m-e-l-e-s-s][sluts]
surrounding
*hello*
*you don't know me*
*what do you want*
*i fucked your husband last night*
([your lipstick, his collar, don't bother angel,
i know exactly what goes on])
Dang
[diamond] tennis bracelet
[kiss] me with your lies
*-try my reality on for size-*
([i love you, you hate me, the story's getting old])
The last line && title, are by far my favorite part of the piece, they capture the theme and emotion Perfectly. Even though, you didnt write that, you got it from another contest option, still.
Loved the way you used so many of the different options mixed, and even though it was a prewrite, and I prefer freshwrites, this was downright amazing.
The way everything is so scattered, really adds a mood to the poem
seeming as that was alot of what it was about.
I give you complete and utter props on this one lovely.
Kat
-
that was wayy to hard to read.
it had alot of weird puncutation i like that but that was way to much.
but it was good anyways.
and by the wayy what option did you do? -
Wow, that was kinda confusing to read with all the weird puntuation and all that. Good luck in your other contests.
-
I don't know why you asked me to leave a comment. Work this terrific needs no validation. From beginning to end I was mesmerized by this piece in it's totality. Truly creative, a mind warping read. That's about all I got fer ya...still trying to wrap my head around this.
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Confused
Is this your contest or a poem or your contest and a poem. Whatever it is it is a good idea and the poems is very furiously imaginative. Great job on both counts.
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*dies from glee* BRILLIANT!!! BEST POEM EVER!
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Wow! What a write! Intense and quite powerful! Very well done! All the best to you in this contest!
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wow this is a totally amazing read, i love your style very original great work
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Wipe brow clean
You laid it out and bared your soul and let fly your words with percision and vision. Very well done piece.
~*Starr*~ XXXX
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HOly bat lube
This is definately so different from the other pieces of your body of work that I have covered. I see now that it was a challenge a but really the way the whole thing came out, I am just sitting here mouth agape saying Damn.
Most excelent work dear lady. (Being chivlarously courteous.lol)
very much enjoyed
Shadows
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I have to say I like this the best of any you have done for just 'talent'. It speaks of many truths and lies expounded each day and oh crap, I just realized I gotta run or be late for brunch! CHOW!
JD
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hmmm I like the structure , its different and quite refreshing I think...I would say well done
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This is briulient I fell deep into the meat of it with your well penned flow and structure. The imagery was like going to the iMax. You have a fantastic mind. Bravo! Amera
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