I pray
To go today
To drift off in my sleep
And never see the sun rise again
It’s time for me to leave this life behind
Time to go
Not to stay
Time to smile
And say goodbye to the pain
Of loneliness
And control
Of a life of no choice
Of hurt
And entrapment
Im leaving from this place
I’ll no longer have to see your angry face
No longer hear your angry words
I’ll never see you again
Because I hate you
You’ve caused me so much pain
I’m leaving without a goodbye
Tonight
Now
I pray
To go today
To drift off in my sleep
And never see the sun rise again
It’s time for me to leave this life behind
It’s time for me to leave
Go away
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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It's very unique
I can really relate to the pain you must have been feeling at the time you wrote this amazing poem. I however am not so great at chaneling my pain. Oh, well. I have a bunch of new poems i will be posting this weekend. Be sure to check it out. Also if you have a myspace, look me up. Kudos to you at your super succesfull writng skills and you should be VERY proud
<3333
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Hey there, thanx heaps for your comment! I'll be sure to look at some of your stuff and look you up. lol.
Shady Lane
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Awww thats good Its sad but good I like sad!!!
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So sad, but very beautiful. I love the word choice and the arrangement- both really add a nice effect to the piece itself. You've done and excellent job.
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Thanks heaps. Im glad you liked it...you seemed to have like what alot of other people didn't about this write. I feel happy now. lol
Shady Lane
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I think it is creative, I think you did a great job on expressing feelings in this poem.
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beautiful and so sad you have a great talent keep writting
XTashaX -
If you look at the stanza formation it looks like two doorknobs with a birds eye view. I think you did a great job the longing can really be felt!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
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Lol. i never really saw that untill you pointed it out to me. lol, I like it
Thanx 4 ur comment.
Shady Lane
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A bit simple and the language isn't all that interesting but it conveyed the emotions you have and I guess that is good enough and the form you used worked for the poem but as I said the language isn't all that great it's something I have seen ten million times before.
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Fair enough, you're entitled to your opinion, but just so we're clear i wasn't trying to make my pain "interesting" I just used simple words because thats how i felt....simple. But thanx so much for what u said, it'll help with my work in the future.
Shady Lane
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im leaving ... tonight, now...to go today. just leave and start over. now if this an alllegory, its ok.
a substitute for death. as in leaving one to start anew. always reread your poems after the mad is gone.
keep writing.
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Beautiful, simply, beautifu
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Such a cold hollow feeling you've managed to convey with this, you can definitely feel each line. Great Job!
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I actually quite like this. It got better as i read through, and I like the short and abrupt lines. makes it really effective.
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"Time to go
Not to stay
Time to smile
And say goodbye to the pain"...despite the childish manner of revealing the emotion within too ordinary word-combinations the poem sounds pretty good!but usually when someone uses a simple structure and style, the emotions revealed compensate it all but in here everything is just too common and has no particular effect upon the reader!the end brings nothing spectacular so I personaly didn't feel any of your inner battles...were just some simle lines which would better go in the lyrics categiry,putted on some guitar chords.anyway...keep up and be creative!
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I love the raw emotion found in this write. Unfortunately to ask these things from whatever diety we may worship (In most religions) will get us no response. I feel that mental suicide can be healthy in poetry as murder and mutilation in art was Salvadore Dalis salvation. *He used to say that mentally he was a serial killer but was able to supress the need through his art*
Thanks for sharing!
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Sad theme!
A very gorgeous expression of pathetic feelings dear poetess!
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