I am told as I tell
From grandmothers and lovers
That prayers wear feathers
I have seen from the rocks
Where Jordan leaves
Sea of Galilee
Pair of doves
Leave the trees, swoop low
Ride the breeze
Creasing channel before
Circling baptising Bitsa Baby
Wise in years and smiles
To return to roost
On swaying, pendulous boughs
God's messengers
Winging well done
Then in stone garden of despair
Lone lover prays to know
That her love still is near
The fear near lays her low
A sign; she breathes
With buzz like bees
Hummingbird hovers
Front of face
Stares in her eyes
The moment's grace
She has her answer...
Author notes
This is the merging of two "God Sightings." Encounters in the day that build faith, an answered prayer, a divine appointment, a conversation where you are aware you are speaking beyond to comfort and encourage, a sign in nature, uncanny coincidences that speak to your moment. The first was in the holy land. A wonderful grandmother was being baptised, and two doves flew across the Jordan, and circled her.
The second was a client missing her husband of 50 years on the anniversery of his death. She wished he knew she still loved him, and in our conversation I helped her remember in the graveyard, she prayed the same and asked for a sign, and a hummingbird flew up and hovered in front of her face.
I wrote the poem, gave her a copy, and said, "Now you will not forget again..."
A contest entry
- rewrite a write-3 by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
450 points, ended February 25, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - rewrite a write-2 by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
425 points, ended February 12, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nature Photo Inspired by rainwalker.
450 points, ended May 6, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Miracles, Signs & Wonders by Maatkara #79 Winklings and AP Friends by Lyndon.
3075 points, ended May 23, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my Favs Or Those Who have me as a Fav by ourgirlFriday.
1200 points, ended August 5, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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much to think about here - thank you for the link
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Then in stone garden of despair
Lone lover prays to know
That her love still is near
The fear near lays her low
A sign; she breathes
With buzz like bees
Hummingbird hovers
Front of face
Stares in her eyes
The moment's grace
gorgeous.
What else can I say?
Are you trying to make me cry? Because now I'm crying. this is so lovely, I can see why you sent it.
Thank you,
jin
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Wow!
This is an awesome poem! Two thumbs up, more if I had them!
I was a little confused for part of it, but then I read the AN and made sense of it. Well done! Bravo! Encore!
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Ah this is breathtaking and refreshing. I love your unique style of writing and the wide eyed innocence that shines through. I too am a big believer in God's signs. I think he/she has to use them to save shouting at us with a loud speaker!
Peace Georgia
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A good start. I love the idea behind the piece and there is some excellent word choice and imagery here. The problem I have is with the flow. From stanza to stanza and even sometimes within the stanza the flow just changes and it is too sudden, throws the reader right off. Maybe try reading this out loud and then rework it? Thank you for sharing this with us and keep on writing!
-Laura -
Beautiful phrasings.
I simply love this poem. Thank you.
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Indeed so true words ...I am really very touched to be part of this great profound work..Thank you so much for your kind participation here in this contest...
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Thank you for the opportunity and inspiration to reclaim these two memories...
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Please submit this poem in my third contest my friend...I submit my oppolgies as I found it after the contest was judged...indeed it is a great heartfelt write...
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