Angels with blood wings,
And burning black demons.
Dead rakes on burnt stakes,
All covered in semen.
Skinned flying fairies
Swollen with stings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Saws in the necks of the
Sick and the wicked.
Knives in the eyes of the
Emo and twisted.
Punk babies dance as I
Pull on their strings.
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the babes laugh.
When a rose blooms.
When I’m feeling sad.
I simply imagine my dark little things,
And then I can feel so bad.
Death is a scent that I
Wear like a perfume.
I will be coming to you
At the full moon.
With all the blood and pain
My hell can bring.
You will soon be my new favourite thing.
Author notes
* Inspired by My Favourite Things of the Sound of Music by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II
A contest entry
- Contest~Your Choice by Dak.
600 points, ended January 16, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES GALLORE ~!~!~! by Naridill.
800 points, ended January 31, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Hee! I love it! And I too like the "dark humor" of this poem. And it is an area that hasn't been explored that much in writing "Dark Poetry." I got a few that I think has a bit of humor to them too. Probably be posting them on J's site as soon as I can.
Anyway, nice taking a light hearted, beautiful song and giving it a bit of an "evil" twist.
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Ha! This is so morbid and hilarious. I enjoyed reading this, and I love the prompt you wrote it off.
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Oooh, I don't think Miss Julie Andrews will be singin' this one come Christmas.
I thoroughly enjoy twists on old favorites. Some might consider them slanderous slams. To me they are just another kind of applause.
"When the babes laugh.
When a rose blooms.
When I’m feeling sad.
I simply imagine my dark little things,
And then I can feel so bad."
I loved singing this as I read it. This chorus at least may accompany me in the shower for weeks now!
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Very good! Dark and creepy and well written. Good choice of words, though the meter seemed a bit off.
Excellent regardless!
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Love the opener - would've hit better with an ender as perfect but still - you have awesome imagery and phrasing in here.
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Hehe, this has a sick sense of humor that I also share. It left me chuckling yet cringing at the same time, if that is at all possible. In fact, I was actually singing along my second read through. The second stanza is my favorite, and I love your word choice. Thank you for entering this amusing piece into my contest :]
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wow...really WOW...I thought my dads remake of the do re me song was good, but no this I must say takes the cake...this is amazing. I love it.
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Emo and twisted.This kind of lost me could you please explain it to me. I get the mockey and evil twists of the write.
Death is a scent that I
Wear like a perfume.
I will be coming to you
At the full moon.
With all the blood and pain
My hell can bring.
You will soon be my new favourite thing.
I really like this pargraph it flow and cohension is awesome it really brings out the message to beware. I like your methaphors. -
The most vivid part of this write was the almost fluid like flow, not to mention the fact that poems like this are my favorites, because they have the ability to offend, and make one laugh at the same time. The ending was perfecly phrased,
With all the blood and pain
My hell can bring.
You will soon be my new favourite thing.
and again i have to mention the fabulous flow of this piece.
This will definately be in my favorites list forever more, good luck in all of your furture writes and good luck in the rest of your life
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talk about going through hard times!
It is clear at what was aimed here, so plus points for that. Message was strong and delivered clearly and concise. Also, it fit perfectly in sync with the actually song. That is by far my favorite thing about it.
The only problem with this poem that i see (other than the slight cringes i have to take) is in the last stanza, starting at, "With all the blood", the poem goes into a moderately awkward in pace unless spoken just right, and not quite to the same beat as the song.
However, that may very well just be my mistake as being rhythmically challenged (which, i confess, i completely am). This is a very funny song. I could even see it going into a mock Broadway show. Sweeney Todd even.
Dark, twisted, disturbing. add to the list of my favorite things. -
I would like to hammer this out over a decent backing track,well written, good imaging and funny.I like the saw in the neck stanza,keep writing and best wishes
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Very funny and original
This poem is wickedly irreverent, a refreshing parody of the sickly sentimentalism spewed in the famous song and a stark, if comical, reminder that darkness is never very far away, however rosy the present appears.I can imagine some defiant punk-rocker claiming authorship here lol. By the way, didn't know you had written such a complimentary tribute to me in your favorite poets slot. I am genuinely touched and honored. camus
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wickedly lovely
niice, i believe you and i have similar favourite thing...
"Saws in the necks of the
Sick and the wicked.
Knives in the eyes of the
Emo and twisted.
Punk babies dance as I
Pull on their strings.
These are a few of my favourite things."
haha my favorite stanza!
great flow and nice imagination.
take care and keep it up.
♥
Lynn
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lol, brutally beautiful
made me smile quite a bit reading this.
-cheers
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Bookmark!
This was fucking beautiful... truly.
I especially liked the emo line... wonderful.
I have been wanting to write a decent parody to this song for the longest time... I know its been attempted in the past, but never to my satisfaction. Now I know I don't have too, yours is great.
Good luck in your future works. :-)
~Das
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