When you die in dreary darkness,
your life flashing before you seems that much brighter.
I now know fear as I never thought possible.
We become lovers in this nightmarish abyss, dread and I.
Long ago I stopped fighting my bonds,
these ropes, biting into my skin like rabid animals.
Learning that as the blood dries and hardens,
it turned the knots more and more irreversible.
Dust blankets my vision,
tattooing the shadows a shade or two darker.
A most pitiful light, struggling high above,
its fair fingers barely penetrating the air.
Sounds of fright dampen the dank walls of this grim room,
the chill emanating from my prison, balefully clawing at my insides.
Muscles deaden, turn lethargic with panic and terror.
All heat chased away, dispelled by the cold malicious stone surrounding me.
I have stopped struggling finally,
a sense of calm dread pumping through my veins.
I know not what I fear more . . .
that my keeper will return, or not ever open this door again . . .
Author notes
pic courtesy of Soulcatcher78_DeviantArt
A contest entry
- Give me an inspiring poem/story/picture :) by DarkenedAuras.
1050 points, ended March 6, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What does it mean to be ALONE? by WhenWillsCollide.
575 points, ended May 30, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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hmm...
very well-written I suppose...
I liked hte use of metaphors, it helped to cathc my attention
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A very strong and lovely write. Prisons we live in by own design or put there by other are very harsh reality of life. This is dark and chilling. The last line is so very strong! Torn as to what you want.
Beautiful write with excellent flow.
Bes to you!
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Thanks for your reading and comment, it is much appreciated, glad you found it chilling
just what I was going for (hehe)
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great job that wasa good read
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thanks!
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Great
I love the imagery and powerful words that you used to describe your "prison". It's great, and wonderfully imaginative, even if it is a bit dark! Good job!
~Mon Amour Ange
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Thanks! appreciate your comment and applause, so glad you enjoyed reading
take care
M~
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Very beautifully written. Intriguing and powerful, a slight bit creepy. Eloquent and gothic with undertones of Poe. Your descriptions have an incredible impact on your reader. Amazing write.
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Thanks for reading and for your comment, it is appreciated, a slight bit creepy huh? I will take that as a compliment, haha
take care
M~
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Well, I don't see how this poem is "inspiring" but it's extremely good. The only flaw it has in my opinion lies in the misspelling of the word "irreversible." Shouldn't that be, "irreversibly?" But that small flaw aside, this is truly an exceptional piece of work and you should be quite happy and content with it. - oce
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thank you for your comment, and your suggestion as well.
M~
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oops, forgot to applaud!
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This was brilliant! It was really absorbing. The images are fantastic. I can't think of many improvements you could make but maybe on the second line, after your life there could be a comma. I'm not sure, maybe it would ruin what you were aiming at but i think it would make it easier to read. Thank you so much for letting me read it
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Thank you for commenting and your suggestion, Maybe there does need to be a pause there...will take it to heart and try it out
take care and thanks for the applaud
M~
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Holy Cow
I am dumbfounded....beyond words
First of all I love how well the poem fits the picture (did u do that picture? If not can you find out and let me know the deviant who made this)
Secondly you have a wonderful vision and displayed details and everything fantasicly.
Lastly I love the metaphors and the chills this gave me...especially the last lines.
I have to give this applaud X3 just for the fact that I could see the details so well I felt I was there
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thanks so much for your comment, glad you enjoyed the read and no I did not do the picture, I did update the pic credit with the name of person on devart, sorry ,thought I did that when I did the first credit ...well thanks again for the comment and applause
take care
M~
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