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white stones



purity’s white stones free-fall
through cavities of time,
innocence empties her pockets,
throws up her hands,

love melts to slush
like lust and falling stars.



In a list

A contest entry

Critical comments are most welcome.

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • deadcolor dreams
    March 20, 2007

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    How the fuck did this piece get silver?!?!














    it deserved gold, god damnit!


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 18, 2007

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    Liked the alliteration in these lines - can see why you did so well in this contest. Vivid images created through your words. Congratulations.


  • musiconmymind
    March 17, 2007

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    very nice

    i am new to ap and this is the first poem i read so far and it is a really good poem Good job.
    DAKODA


  • Cat
    March 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    sorry- i didn't mean to allow pre writes..


  • zochit2me gold member
    February 10, 2007

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    A stunning 25 words here. I wish you luck in this contest.

    love melts to slush
    like lust and falling stars.

    fantastic ending.
    Becky

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    February 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice.


  • sweetpearl
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this, simply. I don't have much to say, sadly, but I liked it nonetheless. The wording caught me I felt, like:

    "through cavities of time"

    --and it's my favourite line here.

1 - 13 of 13