Fractured fissures upon one's mental face
forged to frowns one can't erase
ripping deeper as broken hearts stumble in their pace
forgotten and discarded by powers in such hostile haste.
Upon the tempest junk yard of depression's waste,
swallowed, by some pool of toxic disgrace
hell in the mind becomes as bad as the real place
letting self-hates weapons beat one like an ancient mace
never again a single joy will withered hope embrace.
Burrowed into the barren ground of darkness night
ax of sadness hacking away wisp of esteem light
dim is the pulse that never really burned bright
happy endings only someone else's day its flight
when one's dreams become corpses, buried out of sight.
Author notes
I hope this works for the contest.
A contest entry
- Fragment, Soulful Poetry (Quick Contest) by Ryno.
300 points, ended February 10, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fragility by x Gemini x.
600 points, ended February 22, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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First, let me thank you for entering my contest.
Second:
The flow and imagery was very well done. Creative perspective and conveyance. Easily related to. Original. Great use of language.
Job well done -
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed my entry.
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What a unique background!
Your mental face is very cute, lol! In all seriuosness, this is an amazing little piece you have penned here. Wonderful flow and rhythem paced in precise meter and rhyme. Poignant and well spoken over all!
This line...
"dim is the pulse that never really burned bright"
now that is certainly a thought to chew upon.
Best wishes!
Wendy
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You really need to quit eating before you go into dreamland.. Congratulations on the gold big brother.
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Thank you Wendy. Glad you enjoyed it.
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It is had to stop at times dear.
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Absolutely stunning. Just... amazing. Glad you got to enter! You can say it is your best piece, because it is one of them! It just.. blew my mind away. I honestly loved it! Thanks so much for entering!~
~Ryan~ -
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Wow Ryan. I'm really overwhelmed. Thank you so much for the great comment.
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