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Sentimental (An Acrostic}

Seances I convened,
etched my blood on your
niobium coffin. I served
taramasalata at your wake, later
incinerated your recipes. Your
menage a trois, I gave in,
excited to be a part of your
nymphomania. Our strawberries shall
tell no tales of my hidden
areolae. I sewed up the one hole you
loved, and now they call me sentimental.

Author notes

Soft Words

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Ontarah
    February 11, 2007

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    If you were going for edgy and unbalanced, I think you did indeed pull that off. Acrostics can be a difficult form to utilized well. I think the use of enjambment really tie the lines together which is something a lot of acrostics don't do. I also like you inventive use of words. It adds a unique flavor to the piece. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • 245Trioxin
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You're quite the vernacular poet. This is a very impressive piece (as stated below) I've broadened my vocabulary. I love your style.


    • Soft Words
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this one, its kinda personal.

      Sunshine and smiles,
      SW.


  • Mr C
    February 10, 2007

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    Quite impressed by this.....it follows the acrostic format fairly well.....but it's unbalanced and edgy- which is, I guess, what you intended to be. On a first read I was thinking you didn't have a hope in hell of getting an award.....reading your words, I think you should.


    • Soft Words
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yes - it was meant to be unbalanced, edgy and all that. You don't expect aperson in grief to be worried about meter and all that now, Do you?
      Thanks for that wonderful encouragement.
      I should probably have capitalized the first letter of each line, but I found it took away from the overall unbalanced effect.
      Thanks for dropping by!
      Sunshine and smiles,
      SW.


  • AkaBaki
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yep!

    Okay, i can tell that it is a sweet poem, but i can't really understand a lot of the words you used. That might have been your purpose, or maybe i'm just dumb. Oh well. Keep on writing.
    -AkaBaki


    • Soft Words
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      The purpose was to make you run and dust your unused dictionary... lol.. j/k. Here's some help:

      Taramasalata = a greek salad dip made from roe of cod or other fish
      niobium = a light silver-gray metal

      Anything else, let me know! THanks for dropping by!

      Sunshine and smiles,
      SW.

1 - 8 of 8