my grandfather's gone.
he passed away.
well I guess he got what he wanted.
he wanted to die.
thats exactly what he got.
we all miss him.
but does he care.
today is his funeral.
its at 2pm.
yeah me.
sitting here.
while his there.
heaven his only escape.
when he got sick.
he just laid there.
he didn't want to live no-more.
he didn't care anymore.
he didn't want to love anymore.
he is gone.
we miss him.
but he does not care.
but hey what do i no.
I am here.
A contest entry
- enter anything u want !!! by sweethelper.
300 points, ended February 19, 2007, 51 entries
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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do i no.
no=know.
I can feel the pain in this.
Sad write. thankd for entering.
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Yes, it's always painful
when our dearer pass away
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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A very loving poem in its own way, shows the loss and hurt of someone you love.
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wow, what a write. I dont know whether to feel sad or angry for what you have expressed here. Apart from a couple minor spelling mistakes, the off beat rhythm and rhyming scheme of this write adds to the emotion.
Thanks for entering
All the best
~Hollow~ -
Interesting thought at the end. How do people know how dead loved ones feel when they're gone?
Good luck
Midnight -
Wow. Ok. Good job. I have a grandmother who passed away, and a grandfather who I didn't even know. Good job, but I'm not sure which option you chose. Good job and I hope you keep writing.
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im really sorry. I feal your pain too, same thing with me
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Aww. I love this.
You didn't dress it up, and make it wacko or anything. You made it a nice, touching story. Somethinf that poetry is all about. A story in it's own words.
Very nice!
(Oh, and I know how it is to lose someone. It's quite heartwreching, actually)
Good luck in the contest!
-System of Cyanide
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sad, the poem is missing it needs , the flow of it is nice, I'm sorry about your loss. good write .
Thanks for entering and best of luck. -
i do not know how exactly i am feeling after i read this , but yes i felt sad !! its terrible to miss someone whom we really love !!
i am happy you were able to express your feeling and sorrows in these simple lines ,
thanks for the write and best wishes in the contest !
your well wisher,
truthwriter -
Sad but True
My friend I love your poem and want to tell you none of us know what he was really feeling, only what he might have said. How could we possibly know at all what he was thinking or feeling knowing he was that close to death. His mind and heart may have been on his past and adjusting to our Lord coming for him. Many possibilities. Someone that has known love comes back to it. Some later than others. But they do come back. What else is there to living a full life and not knowing Love. I hope this helps you personally. You are still here and need your friends to raise your spirit up and start your life learning from other's mistakes and rewards. God Bless You, your friend Don
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Heartfelt sadness is within this write about the memorys of your grndfather. Often when elderly or ill, we just want eternal rest. I am sure he is at peace now and watches down on you. I am sorry for your loss.
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Very Sorry.
Very sorry to hear about your grandfather. I am sorry if he didn't want to live anymore. Maybe it was what he wanted, but I know you will miss him. I am sure he would want you to carry on and to be happy.
You may wish to proof this poem, you have a few typos.
Andy
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aw. That's very sad. Great write. I hope you feel better some day.
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