So wonderful, strange and new
Glad I came, I gave away my old shoes
Spell bitten and binding
And ending too soon,
My hands, they slipped on the steel rail
I tried to find a place for me
But it just ain't anywhere...
I begin my homeward ascent
Treading the backward path
Wondering for those I love still
And If I had a mind for minding
I’d think, I think I feel alright
I’d see the world has gone drab
Streets stale in a pale of grey
Toss pots nutting about
Treading the backward path
Where my youth resounds
waiting on biscuits and tea
Deep within the house of shock.
Author notes
About being lost in the world, trying to find a place but it just aint anywhere! so I'm treading the Backward path home, where everything is familiar....biscuits and tea.
A contest entry
- Anything Goes... As long as it's deep... by CrystalJet.
450 points, ended March 3, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think you think it means....
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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TREADING THE BACKWARD PATH
WHERE MY YOUTH RESIDES
THERE IS A DESOLATE AMBIANCE TO THIS POEM, MAKES ME HINK OF EMPTY PLAYGROUNDS AND CANDY WRAPPERS BLOWING IN THE WIND
THIS IS EXCELLENT, THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE READ
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I love this! It has such a haunting feel, perhaps it reminds me of my own "house of shock"
(love that line)
From beginning to end you intrigue me, with your abstract approach... So many possibilities for my imagination to ponder. I shall read it again.
I sincerely love your work .
"I tried to find a place for me
But it just ain't anywhere..." Excellent!Thank you for sharing.~Pastel
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Thank you,
Heartfelt comments like this really make me desire to create more, i'm glad this poem found a place with you. I've enjoyed reading your work and i'm glad you've enjoyed mine.
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I liked this one.
Well I can relate to being lost in the world, but no going backwards for me, there's not much good there. I just go on my way making my own place, and mark as I travel on. It's a very deep poem, a little sad, but yet I see hope in it also. Very nice piece of writing.
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At first I tried to post a comment on your poem in shameless, but my computer wouldn't let me. On the merit of that poem I decided to try my luck on another one. And I found this.
There are so many beautiful ideas and phrases I can't pick just one to focus on, but the one that stood out the most for me was: "and if I had a mind for minding". Seems those kinds of minds are only too easy to find.
I liked the optimism of the first two lines and the complete change in the rest of the poem was fascinating. I find myself taking the backward path too often, I think, and I won't forget the original and evocative way you described it.
Best of luck for the contest. Thanks for sharing.
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Very beautiful. When I read it.. I kind of get the feeling that you'e searching for your true home.. but you're stuck in a place where you don't quite want to be.. Kind of like hell? But you'e searching for more..? I don't know. It's BEAUTIFUL though!!
Good Job!
-Knight- -
awesome!!
This was great loved all of it.. best wishes for the contest.. Thank you for sharing your talent.
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Toss pots nutting about
i love this line! a great poem, very deep and meaningful, best of luck in the contest -
A overwhelming write so deep
Beautiful write It was like you were also soul searching, Deep withing you. I love the concept of the write. (Lisa)
"I begin my homeward ascent
Treading the backward path
Wondering for those I love still
And If I had a mind for minding"
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I like this poem it's really good. I can't find any faults in it. Thank you for your entry, and good luck in my contest.
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In todays world who wouldn't be confused trying to get back home. Wayward paths taken home sometimes are the best. Great flow and intersting topic! Loved the biscuits and tea bit! Tish
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This is really interesting. I like the flow of this piece. It's dark yet not. This is nice and the ending was really good. Keep up the good work and best of luck in the contest.
Love always,
Kristen ღ -
a very intriguing write, filled with wonderful imagery and an almost nostalgic feel to it. Traipsing through memory to a place that's familiar to offset all the confusion in today's world...or at least that's my take on it lol
Rory -
Incredible
I absolutely love this poem. It flows so well. Every line works together in order to create an individual, yet collective view.
I absolutely love the way the alliteration in the lines: "Spell bitten and binding" and I love the flow of this phrase in particular "If I had a mind for minding."
You make this poem incredible in every way and I honestly see beauty in every line.
I love the slant rhyme and I think you are an amazing poet, you truly know what you're doing and I will keep watch for more amazing poetry.
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Wonerful
This is wonderful. Its always difficult to find a place you belong when you leave home. I left once, and made it a month before I had to come home to something familiar. I like how you put your thoughts in italics rather than in apostrophes (?), I like that effect a lot. this is a wonderful poem, once again...as they always say...home is where the heart is!
There is one thing I would change and that is in line 7 where it says it just "ain't" anywhere...thats a little awkward to me, I would make it: But it just isn;t anywhere...
I just think it would help it flow better. Amazing write though...
S~A~E
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going back, going back,
everything was in colours and dinner was more fun. you mind your manners and you'll get dessert. sitting and sharing books with pictures, 5 years, 10 years, 15, out
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Very Barrett
This poem seems so much like something Syd would write. I like how the poem is based on a Syd quote.
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Thanks for the comment...it just such a profound idea to want to be treading the backward path...comforting i suppose
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this is a really interesting poem, i enjoyed it alot. i love the biscuits and tea line, this poem has some truly great imagery and metaphors. congrats on a great write, and good luck in the contest
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