Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Cumulus

i parted lips to utter noise,

but rather turned

 

to stone.

invisible, yet firm.

 

my skin began to cloud

like early days in summer months

when rain is present

 

yet away. 

 

and from my resting place,

i sank

 

while eating festivus;

the words resembling my last thought

of what i wished to speak

 

 

 

 

 

 

but couldn't force

        upon the clouds. 

Author notes

said something i shouldn't have.
withheld what i could have said.

we've all had moments such as these.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • deadcolor dreams
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oops.


  • deadcolor dreams
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your really good at fragments. Sometimes when I read your poems, I sit there, and think about what you were looking at that made you think about what came to you... I never can figure it out! ha ha

  • FindingFate
    February 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, we have.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    February 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    brilliant.


  • layla.
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very creative. I could picture your words-the depression colours and the stagnant weather. I hope the judge would breathe before placing your entry Good luck, you have pened a great piece.
    ~Madd


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    February 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is really nice...

    • marrow
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much.
      i always appreciate your comments, and place them with high value. thank you very much.

      j


  • Ryno
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this one from beginning to end. Very interesting and unique voice. Thanks for entering my contest!~
    ~Ryan~

    • marrow
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      always a pleasure, man.
      thank you very, very much.

      j


  • duke of balabamas
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great write. you finally found a place to put the clouds. good luck. but alas, there is no white on black. for shame. there we go. lmao.

    • marrow
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      hahahahahaha.
      as you left that, i already was editing it. i used to have every piece be a different color, but now i think i'm stuck on black. you can thank melissa for that. i'm so used to reading her work, and being awed, that i believe i've almost equated the greyscale with amazing work. lol

1 - 12 of 12