My Love is Like the Ocean
My love is like the ocean
that will toss you from place to place.
It will show you the extent of my devotion,
and onto the ocean floor, it will land you on your face!
My love will send you the whales and sharks,
uniting together, they will show you what real love is!
Scratching and biting, I will allow them to leave their marks
but that will be heaven, for I will give you bliss!
My ocean-like love will rip you apart,
your hands, your legs and your zone!
You want me to rip out your heart?
No, I will keep it, so you can feel every bit and breaking bone!
Are you in severe pain, my dear?
I did not think so too!
Don't you like it when I am near?
HUSH! For in the dark, I shall keep you.
Tossing, twisting and turning,
that is what my love will do.
for baby, you got me burning.
No more? No! I have to show you!
From the abyss of my loving heart
I write you this spell in black art.
I send you my waves to show you my affection.
My love is your destruction!
I am here and near,
I am your only fear!
I am the one who will kill you with care
Yes, my love for you is your worst nightmare!
My love is like the ocean,
No, wait! My love is the murderous ocean!
By: Nada Adel Sobhi
© Copyrighted 2007
Author notes
I can't help it, I love monkeys!
A contest entry
- Bloody Valentine! by One Eunique Pixie.
750 points, ended February 14, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I'm just speechless .This is so great, the comparissin to the ocean and the waves and everything. And a great vocabulary was used with this poem, you said devotion and affection insted of feeling or love, and used the word abyss. A smooth and great rhyme, where you did it.
Keep Writing
~~Meri~~
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ummm
OK! This was interesting....
I think that you may need to work on it though. The flow was off...completley. The poem was jumpy, and confused me in so many ways. Ummmm I don't know, how to help ya here. It was not you're best. I think. lol. sorry!
Love and Peace, Charlene. -
Indeed, it is like a great ocean, actually all the oceans, all the seas and rivers and lakes and ponds and yes!!! Even all the mudholes!!! Beautiful thoughts that you have carried into this one!!!!!!!!
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Interesting!
This is a very interesting piece you have written here. I love how you compared your love to the ocean. In many ways it does sometimes seem like that. Love is very unpredictable and can leave you stranded within it or bless you. I really enjoyed reading this one. Thank you very much for sharing this here and good luck to you with it in the contest!
Jeremy0826 -
Hmm this is an interesting write. I like the way you compared your love with the ocean, although it is a little... unusual? Nice job all the same.
~Snowfall -
Weird
Totally weird. I must say at first I thought this was going to be a loving valentines poem but no you had to go and write it dark and twisted. lol not that is a bad thing. I must say good luck to you in the contest. Thanks for sharing. Kassie. -
well..its a good poem really nooni but its not what i used to read from u..maybe because this is an extraordinary topic..but it remains good poem
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My love is like the ocean,
No, wait! My love is the murderous ocean!
I can't help..I do not like monekys but I like this poem as well..lol..
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Wow
Lol I am somewhat speechless. It isn't what I am used to you writing. Though it is good. It is like a beware don't mess with my heart it is more powerful then any one person can handle. You use such power in your words and I believe that any reader can feel it. Though I do think that you should change line 10 to "My ocean will rip you apart" because you already stated that your love is like the ocean, so therefore you could use that ocean as a metaphor instead of just a simile. Well n e ways good luck in your competition.
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Nooni joonam. For last moments of today, it’s such a delight to read of love specially when it is penned by your marvelous pen! You know that I love rhyme, you also know that you are so good when it comes to feeling. I feel proud when I remember the creator of this piece is my lovely sis, Nooni.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem with us and good luck to you in the contest
~Massy~
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