Tears of blood dripping down my face today;
I remembered the time when fear ruled me.
Two hands, meant for loving, would terrify;
feet made for walks in the park would cause pain.
The voice which had once soothed all my saddness,
well... that voice became the one which condemned.
Though not buried in a physical grave,
I died... a horrible death while living.
I gave him my all and he took some more.
I offered him the world and he took it.
I loved him with all that I was; he left.
My body longed for his touch; he hurt me.
The colours he offered me way back then,
they were beautiful shades in all the blues.
The rainbows he painted ended in lies.
The love he offered turned into his hate.
The flowers I picked, one by one, gave life.
I walked, I walked, and I walked even more.
Each tedious, painful step gave me me.
I picked beauty, I picked the life of love.
Forgiving him did not pardon the crime;
it did not erase the memories here;
it did not fix my cracked collar bone's pain;
nor did it release him from prison's gate.
Forgiving him brought me back to the earth;
it gave me hope that I could somehow heal;
it turned tears of blood into tears of hope;
it made loving me possible again.
For see, the hatred I felt was a crime.
Hating him, I gave him control of me.
Forgiving him, I took back who I am.
Forgiving him made love who I am.
I'm Viyanna Rosemarie Langager
I survived several years of the abuse.
As 'he' wrote me in 'his' words,
I am made of 'battleship steel'. I lived.
Author notes
i truly believe that the hatred i held for so long was as much a crime as what made me hate. there is a fine line between loving and hating. i choose not to hate anyone today.
my name has 9 syllables. when the contest is over, i shall fill it in. i am proud to have survived and to have forgiven.
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/There%20IS%20Life%20After%20The%20Abuse
if you are a survivor and would like to lend support to others the link above is a group i have begun on AllPoetry.
In a list
- As The Healing Comes • next in list
- Domestic Violence • next in list
- For The Survivors Group • next in list
A contest entry
- Domestic Violence Is A Crime by Lyre-Bird-.
450 points, ended February 17, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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G'day Viyanna Rosemarie
Powerful and stunning write.
You are an inspiration for others who have suffered and still do, your words are penned great and help the reader understand the pains one endures at the hands of an abuser even if they've never felt it personally.
Stay safe
~Amanda
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thank you very much for that kind comment.
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Your a brave and victorious survivor. You gave great hope in sharing your path. Thank you
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What a horrible hell to live in fear of loved ones... this brought tears to my eyes as I read...(being a survivor of many types of abuse myself) ... I relate all to well. You have penned it with dignity and grace! Thanks for sharing these emotionally painful words.
Blessings and best wishes~
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This poem is full of courage, strength and so much pain. I am glad that you have gotten to the point where you can forgive your abuser and go on to live a strong and hopefully happy life! To get to this point is not easy and some never allow themselves to do this. I am glad there is a place for all to come and share with each other to begin to heal and help others heal.
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funny, i was just putting a letter to him in an envelope when you message popped up. forgiving him took so much of the bad away and i can breathe. i am hoping that the group will help me allow enjoying that breath in my life. thank you for commenting. viyanna
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This poem is incredible, such a joy to read and understand how much power that forgiveness holds over those who hurt us. Great read! Congrats on the trophy!
"M"
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Firstly I would like to thank you for entering the contest!!!!!
Soo much sadness and pain, is expressed from this poem... but your strength shines through... you are a very strong woman
thank you for giving others a message about domestic violence
well written
Tracey
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Wow
Your talent for the written word shows through very strong as well as for you as a person. Keep up the good work and the writing. I see your strength will be the help of many. Dill-
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thank you ver much.
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