Emotional breakdown,
It is what it sounds,
Today in class,
Your perfect smile shattered like broken glass.
One little pinch,
That miniscule flinch,
Brought on a river,
Of tears and pain to deliver.
Rush to the bathroom,
Shut the door,
Remember when they told you,
"No one likes a white *bunny*!"
Your breathing is hard,
As you pick up the shard,
Of that broken glass,
Hoping with every breath,
That it was your last.
Onto the floor,
Flows your crimson regret,
Releasing the pain,
That you'll never forget.
Clean up the mess,
Cry less and less,
Pick up the glass,
Go back to class.
Nothing happened,
You're just fine,
Just put on that fake smile,
And let it shine.
Author notes
TooxSadxForxTears
My social studies teacher calls me, Nicole ********, Practically Perfect In Every Way. Little does he know....
Anyway, this is what happened in english today.
A contest entry
- Post Secret::My Secret Inspired *Now Your SECRET!* by Dead Star--x.
350 points, ended February 14, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, Love, Fantasy? by --Beautiful--.
550 points, ended February 18, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Painful Existence?? tell me more... by hopelessly-broken.
450 points, ended February 25, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain/cutting/suicide by Felix BlackHeart.
375 points, ended February 18, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give the Newbies a Chance by Ontarah.
300 points, ended March 3, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
This is a very emotional write made even more poignant by the fact it is a real experience. I especially like your use of short simple phrases. It is highly appropriate given the situation. I don't think someone in this much emotional distress is going to be wasting time with page after page of poetic discription. Well written! Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
this si really good. it reminds me of myself the other day actually. my teacher, he centered me out in front of the class, how I was diffrent. how the group I was in just shunned me, we were doign a unit on boarders. I didn't mind, till he ahd to center me out. I cried in front of a class that hates me, and will use anything to hrut me. and I felt weak crying in frnot of them, but I couldn't escape. when I went to the bathroom, to do what had to be done, to relive myself of the pain inside. I didn't clean up the blood. I'd rather let them see what tehy do to me. your poem, hit me really hard. and thats what I want. thanx for entering this contest. Later.
Felix BlackHeart
-
-
Thank you
-
-
wow
it shows such an insite into your true feelings, and i know exactly how u feel. people think ur perfect but really what they see is the fake smile, and mask...
keep writting and take care
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX
-
Wow, I really felt a feeling of frenzy to take the pain away, and the way that the cutting helped you bury the pain. I can defidently see why your secret is in the preliminaries!
-
Hey this is a great write..i really enjoyed reading this..there was so much pain and sadness expressed through your words and im sorry you feel this way..keepw writting your great at it!
~Chrissy~ -
Very good!!! i love this so much...i don't have much time cause i have so many to judge but very good and thank you for entering my contest and reading my rules...good luck!!
-
hmm... i really like this i do the flow everything it just has this certain je ne sais quio... (i dont know what) but its good and ill take it! thanx for entering and good luck!!!
*Abused
*
-
Another excellent poem, it portrays your emotions so well, and impacts upon the reader with overwhelming emotion.
x xx x -
How sad, I'm sorry your going through so much. I can relate to how you feel. Very well written poem. I hope things get better soon. Hang in there. Do something nice for yourself because your worth it. I write because it helps me get things on paper that circulate in my mind. That way, I free myself a little more each day.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
