Coming home from a long celebration
Just having an insightful conversation
Driving an old friend to our rendezvous
And oh, there stood you
I felt your innocent gaze fall my way
I got all choked up, I didn't know what to say
I wondered if you were looking back upon
Our moments that were perhaps long gone
I guess I still miss you and once in a while
I'll think of you and at times even smile
But I couldn't just stop and say hello
Because I really didn't want you to know
I bit my tongue and looked away
You are so utterly gorgeous today-
-And today for the first time I see
That you are still a quiet malaise in me
Author notes
I came up with some stanzas of this poem in accounting class when it got so boring that I couldn't take it anymore. Then I saw this contest.. perfect opportunity to finish it up.
A contest entry
- The sound of silence by Moonlit-Reveries.
450 points, ended February 24, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
A woman's soul can weaken yours..
-
I loved your simple honestly in this poem. It feels so natural and utterly human. Beautiful emotions too. I like your last line especially.
Thanks for sharing and best of luck in my contest. -
Wow amazing! Your rhyming is beautiful! It doesn't sound forced at all where most rhyming does! Congratulations! This poem also reminds me exactly how I feel... amazing once again. Good luck in the contest and I hope you win!
-
i love your rhyming in this, you clearly have a great talent at it
The last line is my favourite, love your use of the word malaise. congrats on a great write; i wish you best of luck in the contest
-
-
Thank you. I was worried because it came out so much more simpler than even my other writings, and I didn't even use any imagery. I hoped to carry an easy honest tone. A friend helped me with the word malaise, a lot of consideration went into choosing the perfect word, looks like it paid off.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
