a girl sitting in her algebra class laughs for no reason
if nobody hears her did she really laugh
it's a cliche thing to ask but sometimes
wondering is the only way to know you're human
let's be for real and honest and curious
does anybody know how to stay sane in isolation
and if they cant how long does it take
before the white walls eat at your brain and
you scream
a boy with dirty fingernails escorts his girlfriend
to the other end of the school and kisses her
long and tenderly even though he could get in trouble
then tells her he loves her and proceeds to overdose
on a half gram of meth in his favorite bathroom stall
the entire school was crying the day justice was served
a freshmen class (excluding honor roll students)
is busted with 90 plus 'scrips of RX and two of them
are crushed into powder and sold to second-graders
in plastic pixie-stick tubes of all colors
(isn't a rainbow supposed to stand for love)
can it be that this is high-school
and this is what the future holds for all of us
there's nothing we can do about it
especially in a town so small all you can do
is get fucked up and avoid the police
Author notes
I'm really fucked up right now so forgive me if it's confusing!
A contest entry
- anything by youngsoldier852.
500 points, ended February 14, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites, come and get them by Ryno.
638 points, ended November 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This piece is so raw. But, I think that is what makes it brilliant.
Its lack of punctuation, linebreaking, its exceptionally raw poetic devices, and images all make it seem so much more...real...so much more, worldly? You know?
And because of that, it makes the topic of this write hit home so much more because you can see the real bitterness and sandess and frustration that comes along with such an issue.
That is highschool. Great job, dont give up hope. -
feeling it
~prewrites, come and get them -
Great work!
Don't be down on yourself. you are awesome. life will do this to you. you just gotta get used to it. unfortunately it doesn't get better. keep up the good work.
-AkaBaki -
what a powerful opening...got my attention...you have some attitude with a rawness that demands to be read...You sure brought the streets into the shool yard but guess they really were waiting at the gate ust for opportunity to come calling. this is a brilliant penned number honest and from the heart not padded out or covered up to 'look good' when kids young as 11 are dealers makes you ask questions they only get more street smart as you say in you rlosing line learn to run free....this is a must read for every parent and shool teacher child care services and government to get off their butts and do something that has meaning to stop kids being poisoned .... funny thing is i thought adult swere suppposed to protect children...guess the adults of this world failed.
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agreed
i agree with the conseped of this one and i tlike the way you put this together great work and the youth of today way to go for we all are one of them we knows whats gonu happen
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wow, It's a very strong poem and i really like it, it's very powerful. it's so sad. It's well written, good job. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest.
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This is a great piece. So sad, but also so true. It's horrible what we have all come to... resorting to drugs to fill up empty spaces and to numb ourselves from the soreness our problems have left. Nice job.
~Snowfall -
This is a powerfully written piece which draws in the reader. Well Done!
I like it, I think the words were well chosen. It was amazing. Very good. This is deep. Truley amazing and beautiful. I can relate to this which may sound crazy but its the truth. This is touching considering the hard times in my life. A well written write. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Excellent word choice. Thought provoking. A well crafted piece. -
Wow. a good flow a rythem to this poem. i like it because of its honesty. such powerfull and meaningfull words you write. i hope to hear more from you. well done and please keep writing
Little Ben
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Your poem is good, it's very raw and dramatic. Sadly it's filled with quite a few questions that we all face daily.
You did a good job of imagery too.
Thanks for giving a dose of reality!
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