Little one that time forgot stays trapped inside her prison
Tattered soul she prays in silence while life just slips away
Why is she here locked away years have passed her by
Stop this suffering she cries aloud it falls on deafened ear
Forgot her name answers to that girl or even dirty little thing
Inside her prison cell which once was filled with laughter
Faint memories of baby dolls, tea sets and pretty pink walls
Mommy left things quickly changed Daddy doesn’t sleep
Stripped of her pretty dresses now all she wears are rags
At moonlight’s rise he comes to her smelling of must and beer
Throws her down on filthy sheet to have his way then be gone
Body weary she kneels again to pray for sweet revenge
Light has come she must have slept her door is open wide
Tip toe across her cluttered floor to have a peek outside
There lying on the kitchen floor her Daddy’s lifeless corpse
Revenge had come set her free but who does she have to pay
Scavenger hunt reveals so much a shot gun rests at his side
Tear stained paper on the table a message scribbled in ink
“God forgive for all I’ve done she never asked to be born”
“I punished her for her mother’s sins for this I must now pay”
There she stood that little girl who for so long lived in chains
Prayers have now been answered she could walk into the light
Door flies open feet touch cool sweet grass, fresh air on her face
Arms out stretch reaching as if to be grasping at her freedom
Sounds of sirens break her peaceful moment in the sun
Police break down the door she thought she had left open
“I’m over here” she cries aloud yet no one seems to see her
“Another murder suicide” says an officer across the room
The little girl was freed that day but not how she believed
It was not sleep that found her as her Daddy left the room
A single shot from his shotgun then he turned it on himself
The last line of his letter read “I finally set her free”
Author notes
Special thanks to "Aquasexio" from www.deviantart.com for the picture I am using that I drew on for inspiration!!
Option 1 Abuse
A contest entry
- Dark and Depressing #2 by XHollowXEyesX.
750 points, ended June 18, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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DARK! But very good. You set this up very well then your story exploded in the end with this tragic ending. Well written well thought out.
I liked it
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Jeff
Thank you so much for reading this piece. I hadn't written in a while when I wrote this one I am pleased that you liked it!!
Shannon
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this was a great write..i enjoyed rading this..your words were powerful and emotional and i found myself relating to this write keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
this was a great write..i enjoyed rading this..your words were powerful and emotional and i found myself relating to this write keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
great job
what was her name? -
I heard of creating emotion through writing, but wow! I felt this in the pit of my stomach and its still freaking me out. Good job!
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wow..that's terrible! what a heartbreaking peice! well written, but I'm so very sorry anything like this truly hapens in this world.
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hmmm.. this poem seems very familiar... a friend n poet wrote somethin to the very same effect.. so forgive me if i compare this to that...
I did like the poem... u mite want to add in a few punctuations here n there to make the flow a lil better... n the pic is very sad n moving...
nice write... Good endin...!
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I clicked open the poem for the title is uplifting enough to make believe the bliss of freedom has come to knock. I was quite taken aback to see the dark stuff lurking in here! But yes, I must say poem has been crafted very well, and is intense enough to create a ripple effect on the mind of the reader.
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Heavy
Well wriiten. Take this a compliment that I find this piece very disturbing. To cause emotion with words is not an easy task.
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wow this is an absolutely breathtaking piece of writing. You described everything in such detail and with great use of language and imagery. Without going in depth of the abuse you showed what it is on an emotional level. Spine-chilling. Such a painful and creepy write, I escpecially love the part where it describes her walking on the grass, very detailed, I could picture it happening.Also the ending was awesome, nice twist.
you are very talented.
thankyou for entering and goodluck -
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Thank you so much for the great comments I am so pleased that you like this piece!! I appreciate the opportunity to participate in your contest!!
Shannon
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So Very Tragic
Chills are running up my spine and I am for once
almost speechless. This has touched my very
being. I know from experience maybe this is why
I feel so connected. What a SPECTACULAR job you
have done with this piece of writting. I will
never forget this one. I love every single line
in this but ny favorite is Prayers have now been
answered she could walk into the light. POWERFUL!!
Thank for such a MASTERFUL piece of writting.
you are so very talented.
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Kathy
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments on this piece!! I really am thankful when those that have yet to read my work take time and read and then can appreciate it! Your words meant a lot to me. This piece was a tough one to write I worked on it for days because of the ending I was unsure of posting it. Thanks again for reading and I look forward to reading your work!!
Thanks ever so much!!
~~Shannon~~
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Shannon,
This is the saddest poem I think I have ever read..It would make a good book, or movie..I am really at a loss for words..so I will say only that you did a wonderful job on this, and that I love ya much....
Dusty
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Dusty
Hello my wonderful friend,
I thank you so much for your always greater than great comment
I do so appreaciate you always taking time to read and comment on my work!! You are so sweet!
Thanks again and much love my friend!
Shannon 
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Wow
How very sad, deep, and so very ,very intense! Wow! This was written with so much passion and so much feeling that it takes ones' breath away! Wow! -
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I thank you very much for reading and taking the time to leave such a nice comment on this piece!! I am truly humbled by everyone saying such nice things about my work!!
thanks again!
Shannon
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The little girl was freed that day but not how she believed
It was not sleep that found her as her Daddy left the room
A single shot from his shotgun then he turned it on himself
The last line of his letter read “I finally set her free”
Very sad and very touching story is here....This is just a breathtaking work here..what a plot ?and how it is presented ?..just incredible..The story line with its treatment is verry beautiful ..The structure and the pace of this work is just great also its climax is its real strength.. Indeed a remarkable entry..welldone..
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Thank you ever so much for the wonderful comments you left on this piece!! I have been in sort of a dry spell lately and I went searching for a muse and found this picture and I felt the need to write... I am honored and humbled by your comments!! Once again thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my work!!
Shannon
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This is a powerfully written piece which draws in the reader. Well Done!
I like it, I think the words were well chosen. It was amazing. Very good. This is deep. Truley amazing and beautiful. I can relate to this which may sound crazy but its the truth. This is touching considering the hard times in my life. A well written write. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Excellent word choice. Thought provoking. A well crafted piece. -
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kendalpalmer
Many thanks for your wonderful comments on this piece!! It mean so much when those whom you are unfamiliar with read your work and can appreciate it... I am sorry for any painful memories I may have caused you Once again I thank you for taking time to read and comment on this piece!!
Shannon
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WOW! You came back with a bang, Sis! This is amazing! Disturbing, dark, thought provoking, sinister. Just Wow! Fascinating! Loved it!
~Lori
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Lori
Thanks Sis!! I am so glad you liked it!! I was cruising the pages of deviant art and came across several pics that have caught my poetic muse off gaurd!! I am hoping to continue on writing as I have so missed penning my work! Thanks as always for your ever uplifting comments!!
Love ya!
Shannon
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sad ,disturbing
This piece is so disturbing to me. It is well written and quite beautiful, but still disturbs me. I wish that I could say I liked it, but I had so many bad feelings when I read it that I'll have to read it again.....Love Ya, DEE
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Dee
No worries!! I can understand what you are saying about this one! Thanks for at least taking the time to read!
Shannon
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