i r u n my tongue
over my li.ps
&&i can feel the cuts.
the holes i chewed&&bit&&gnawed
back when life got far too
[hard]
they bled.
i was hoping you would notice;;
&&ask
'what's wrong, dollface?'
[but you never did]
This is my proof.
Author notes
bleh.
pretty crap, i know. inspiration's been so hard to grab lately, you know?
A contest entry
- Whatever you want to enter... by sweetpearl.
2400 points, ended February 17, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
it's crapcrapcrap, so don't lie just to tease me.
Comments
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i was hoping you would notice;;
&&ask
'what's wrong, dollface?' [but you never did]
i know the feeling.
♥
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I loveyarr sweets. Thanks.
Noise&&Kisses
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I am constantly biting my lips/inside of my cheeks ... it's this problem I have (the other one where I bite my fingers is far worse). Not many people notice and when they do, even if they ask you, they don't actually care. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth, at least here it is. A specific co-worker kept asking me if I was okay because I never look happy and I cracked a loose smile and lied "yeah, I'm fine" until one day I was really fed up and told her "no, I'm not fine" and she asked why. I started to tell her why and in the middle of a sentence she said "oh I'm sorry to hear that" and walked away. The reality is, most people don't want to hear if you're having a bad day, week, life. Why? Because they are afraid it will bring them down. Those happy people piss me off, not because they're happy and I'm not but because they don't give a damn about the ones who aren't. This is why I take so much interest in those who feel unhappy, anger, and/or alone because a] I know what it feels like to be that way, b] I know what it's like to know no one cares, and c] I feel I have gotten through most of it and I think many other people can, they just need some encouragement and a good listener/friend. And I don't lie ... I'm not going to tell you it's going to be okay when I cannot see into the future. I'm not going to tell you it's not how you really feel either. I found myself with zero friends after I realized they weren't really friends at all. If you cannot go to them with your problem and they can't even give you the time to listen, fuck them. They later have the nerve to try and come to you with theirs. I don't hold grudges often but with friends and this type of situation, I do. I've eliminated all the people who made me feel like absolute garbage. I think it's helped a lot. I've done a lot of things lately that have helped ... I wish I could tell you what they were so they would help you but we're all different, even if we're all feeling down. There's always a different reason for it and it never has the same method of curing.
Well after that ... I'm serious when I say this isn't bad. It's quite possible that since I can relate to this piece that I find it more worth while.
"i r u n my tongue
over my li.ps
&&i can feel the cuts.
the holes i chewed&&bit&&gnawed
back when life got far too
[hard]
they bled."
--this is really well written. The last line is probably unneeded, I'm not 100% sure of my opinion this time though. If I could hear this being spoken, it would be easier. Because I feel
"[but you never did]"
--could be a drifter line where the reader feels too sad to go on. It's a really sick, impossible to deal with feeling, I know. I wish I could give you something concrete for you but I cannot make you believe anything I say, I can only hope you do. Even if it's just for a moment and you let out a tiny smile ... it's all worth while.
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Wow.
I Love You So Much. && I Wish I Could Give You More Than Ten Points For This Comment.
Noise&&Kisses
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