Our paths glimmer on the lake
Rippling softly as they meander
An echo ripples forever in time
As they cross
Like a dream,
Love floats tranquilly
Upon the gentle ebbing ripples
Pulsating with darkness
Glittering with sunlight
Elegance dancing upon the waters
Gliding in effervescence
We are mirror images
Captivated by the dreams
Hidden deep within your eyes
Our eyes lock
Lost in the beauty deep within
Gliding like clouds
Floating seamlessly across the sky
Poetic white figurines
With graceful slender necks.
Two bodies dance together
Among the soft perfume of the drifting lilies
Spreading their wings of silky feathers
Moving in grace;
A never-ending song
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© February 2007 ~Ilana Cofield~
In a list
A contest entry
- Can You Feel The Love Tonight? by tawk.
425 points, ended February 11, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Stunning
Stunning imagery, wonderful reflection, echo and liaison between swan and human. Beautiful use of language. Elegant and graceful... like the swan. Love this poem.
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when i think of "swan song" i think of that last glorious moment of self expression prior to death. to give you an idea what i mean, check out Tennyson's poem "The Dying Swan" to get an idea what I mean.
i enjoyed some of the imagery here: "gliding effervescence" (no need for 'in'); "mirror images" (in a cloudlike sense to my mind).
here i see you have the ability to observe and relate details that can give life to your feelings and ideas.
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This glides in it's form almost as if there's water beneath; it has strength hidden in depths of imagery. I did stumble in the wonderful flow when I read "Hidden deep within your eyes...Our eyes lock"
The double use of eye so close together did not seem to fit. I especially like the intertwining of grace, dreams, and visions in white. It all seemed a bit surreal lending itself well to several emotions. Blue -
Wow. I really like this poem. I don't even know what to say about your poetry, it's all just so good!
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*deep sigh*
"Gliding in effervescence
We are mirror images
Captivated by the dreams
Hidden deep within your eyes
Our eyes lock
Lost in the beauty deep within"
This stanza just litterally screams of "SOUL MATE!" Such a beautiful use of diction and the poem as a whole compliments and the exceedes the picture itself in all its beautiful poetic elegance. As a helpless romantic I can so dearly appreciate the feeling you have conveyed here. Such remarkable beauty.
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VaVa Va Voom Babe!
I can feel it...I feel love...ah feel love. This a beauty and the background makes you feel as if you look into a beautiful clear pool of water and as you read this piece you are completely drawn into serenity. I meant to visit long before now...so glad I did.
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What a lovely love poem you have written here, and a great photo to accompany it as well. Interesting background that looks like water too. Can see why this won an HM. Congratulations
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i love the imatry in this poem its very easy to see this well for me it is lol well write more good poems like this byes
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this poem really reminds me of a beautif romance. a sommer love maybe? wonderful!!! for me the lovely part is the last verse. "..never- ending.."
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Awesome write
this poem was so beautiful. The words and emotion were so breathtaking. and the added picture of the swans was just the right touch to give it that added romantic touch. My favorite part was the whole second verse. -
Wow this is so beautiful and so creative. I so enjoyed reading it. Good luck in my contest
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as the ripples of the effect pass through me i sit with awe of this, beauty as light and essence of quantum stillness put together in a dream like voice a well written as the swan flies..
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my goodness, you're good with imagery. "upon the gentle ebbing ripples pulsating with darkness glittering with sunlight." evokes images of a lake on a warm sunny day. and of course, the swan is the symobl of steadfast, lasting romantic love
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Wow!
This is magically beautiful. The swans glide as effortlessly as the words you chose to float them upon.
Excellent work. You are quite a talent. Kj
. Rewarded 4
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Pure beauty
Well, written. I had to come back and add a little more. You have a soft beautiful style, which is extremely nice to read.
Keep penning your lovely words.
Buddy
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The peaceful feeling in your poem is wonderful, your images are solid and the flow is soothing to the soul, the heart, bringing a balm to my heart. For me, personally, I would have not duplicated the word 'gliding' and opted for another in its stead. Maybe something like skimming, sailing, sweeping, etc. but it works fine the way it is and like i said, that's just me. I love the picture you chose as well, so tranquil. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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Very soft, moving and calm. I liked the pictures you described and somehow it made me feel very calm. Nice work, sister!
. Rewarded 4
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A lovely write, very beautiful and soothing to read, I love the picture also. Thanks for sharing.
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Swans are graceful ballerina's with wings and you give them your voice of romance and love, it is sheer lovliness.
. Rewarded 4
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that is such a romantic attitude that you display... great write.
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