absence of regret in aged oak barrels
savoring the wine of choice and time
what hope that would be secretly swirling,
a kite's tail on woodwinds' breath...
but disappointment coils and curdles its tendrils,
invading roots embittered and intertwined in the strands of my hair
the dark tapestry resembling your short life upon the crackling hearth rests
languid staring, rolling amber liquid around supple tongue
it is not hope that flickers across my face in this subdued light
but resolve, determination to fly that kite anyway.
Author notes
I could really go for a nice light wine about now... but that would mean I'd have to get off my duff and go to the liquor store... I'll settle for Dr. Pepper.
A contest entry
- 10 lines - 10 minutes - 10 by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended February 8, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm a penguin lover...
Comments
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Excellent
What a very creative and marvelous quality to your poem. It breathes through the images with intense feeling. Congrats on the silver.
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penman
thank you for reading this one. whenever a comment is written on a poem from the past, i re-read it. i'm glad you brought my attention to this one. it makes me smile. the resolve has curled and crinkled under the heat of life lately so it's nice to know that this can be revived and survive the fire.
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A lovely write. Beautiful imagery, flow and tone. Lovely metaphor. Very good alliteration. Very good expression of feeling. Good word choice. A well crafted piece. Congratulations on winning Silver. Well deserved.
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3 claps...9pts
Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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Some outstanding imagery within your words...how I wish I could join you with a Dr. Pepper's or even the honey coloured liquid that is still at the store
Congratulations on winning the silver trophy, well deserved...I totally admire your writing and expected something unique from you...
Much love...
~Lilac~
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lilac, perhaps some day our paths will cross and we'll be able to share a glass of our choosing. until then, peace, light, and love i wish you. take care.
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Great flow and imagery! Dr Pepper is my favorite soft drink next to Pepsi! Well done a really good write!
Peace
Debbera -
Congrats on the Silver, my friend! Beautifully written! The imagery you've painted upon this page is smart and vivid. I could almost taste the dry flavor on my palette. Great work!
~Lori
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lori
good to hear from you.
glad you had the ghost of wine visit your tongue here.
take care.
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very good write I must say! The Silver Trophy proves that
GBY
Silver
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Thank you sweetheart.
Hope you are well.
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For such a short poem, this is extremely powerful. The images that you create are vivid in my mind, your descriptions are very potent. I love the ending of this poem, it is perfectly suited to the overall feeling of purpose about this poem. A wonderful write
Stay strong and keep writing
Polly -
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Polly - Thank you for giving this a read. Potent - I like that word and am honored you used it to describe something I've written. Thanks again. Hope you're having a great Valentine's day.
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what an incredible write! and way to go for dr. p too! lol. i just loved the images here, well done!
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AA- thanks. Just finished a 2 liter of dr. p.
glad you likey.
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I love Dr Peper. Congrats on the silver. I really liked the poem. Kites fly free into the air on the wings of the wind.
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Well done indeed! YAY Dr Pepper!! (having to settle for a generic version though ). On the few occaisions I drink I add Bacardi regular to DP for a unique taste that is unlike either beverage individually! But I digress!
Yay on this poem, well done and in 10 minues? I am doubly impressed!! BRAVO
Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Peg
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Great piece with insight in a short form entry. I can see why it won silver! While your getting that Dr. Pepper, could I have a pepsi please! Lol an enjoyable read! Thanks for sharing and best wishes,
Frogz~ -
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hey ho ! Frogzter
Here's your Pepsi, my dear!
Thanks for giving this a gander.
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Liked the metaphors used in these lines - great ten minute, 10 line entry. Congrats on the silver win here.
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sanks!
enjoyed writing this one.
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I Love It A Lot So Full Of Hope And Really Carries Alot Of Emotional Content. I Can See Why This Ranked So Well In The Contest.
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Hey, I don't think I've heard from you before, Street Alchemist.
Just watched the movie, Formula 51 - heehee - talk about alchemy!
Glad you enjoyed giving this a read.
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Beautiful
This is truly beautiful so full of hope. So filled with emotions. Just excellent! Keep on writing such wonderful emotion filled poetry
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thank you sweetie. I really like this one. denotes how I'm feeling these days.
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Stunning
I just love the line "absence of regret in aged oak barrels ", the imagery that conjours up is mindblowing
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glad you liked that one - I do too, obviously...
wonderful thought, huh? aged perfectly with no regret...
take care, hon, see ya.
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moving
a very personal write about a struggle that is all around us every day.You will be fine because you are recognising ,and coming to terms with the evil all around us,good write well done and best wishes. -
Almost forgot to clap
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divine piece of wisdom
contemplation at its sublime best! This is so wonderfully rich in metaphors.Leaves me in awe.Pen on poetess... -
Definitely enjoyed this piece!
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Melissa
Thank you very much.
I appreciate your time and choice.
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.
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