I think there was something other than love in the air.
Love isn't something you do.
Love isn't something you do.
No, and I'm not someone you should leave behind
Even if you feel you must.
Vain girls, must not be left alone.
Even if you feel you must.
Really, this is something you should have known.
Give me no advice and no medication.
Even if you feel you must.
This is something I can't get over, another confrontation.
Oh, and wont you let me heal, ever?
Vain girls, must not be left alone.
Even if you feel you must.
Really, this is something you should have known.
This is something I can't get over, another confrontation.
Help me darling, this is all my fault.
I think there was something other than love in the air.
Something, more along the lines of assault.
Author notes
rape was on my mind, but the poem was supposed to be about an abusive relationship. Whatever appeals most to you.
A contest entry
- The Contest Which Must Not Be Named by Orual.
700 points, ended February 22, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This gives me Stockholm Syndrome vibes... I love these psychological things about unhealthy relationships and... stuff, lol. (Sorry, I'm not well versed at 8 in the morning ^^) Wonderful work, I really like this, it reads like a song by someone like Pink.
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I don't know why but even though this poem is clearly negative, your words for some reason make it sound cute... but it's a good thing. It's 12:30 a.m, and most of the poems I read at this time don't hit me cause I'm tired, but this one was reall worth the time to read.
rock on.
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vain girls
i like this line,
it says alot about the society these days
and thank you, it was all memories for me.
thank you....
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i hadnt read the author note until i already got most of this comment down, but i saw heartbreak and an abusive relationship. the rape part seemed more of a consept of being taken advantage of during the abuse as opposed to actual rape... my sincerest apologies if you were...
the poem itself is very good, i like the repetition you used, and agree with peliroja in how they seemed more natural than most poems i've read that use repetition in them
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I saw abusive relationship, the "another confrontation" bit. There's not enough helpless rage to depict rape, I think. I wouldn't know poetic structure from a mountain lion until the kitty bit me, but I know what I like. I like this a lot. Thanks for the post, I look forward to more.
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cool
a job well done, your poem is slick and feels good off the tongue!!
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Very interesting, and very effective, too. The form is straight on and I can definitely see this portraying an abuse victim. You last line really clinched the poem. Good work, and thank-you VERY much for entering.
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To me, it felt like your were portraying heartbreak, which could happen in a rape or abusive situation. It was very emotional. I liked it.
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Very interesting piece. I dont completely understand it..but I did enjoy it. I think it could fit a few situations. Very well done
Soulful Woman
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This contest presented a new challenge and it is interesting to see the way each author interprets it. I was impressed by how well the repeating lines fit into your poem, not forced but completely natural. Congratulations on a wonderful and expressive poem and good luck in this contest.
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