wasted
.
blood gushed from her mouth spilling the glass
one last agonal breath she gasped
almond smell was on her lips
slumped to the table, dead
caught us by surprise
poison they say
instant death
watch her
die
.
Author notes
A nonet has nine lines. The first line has nine syllables, the second line eight syllables, the third line seven syllables, etc... until line nine that finishes withone syllable. It can be on any subject and rhyming is optional.
line 1 - 9 syllables
line 2 - 8 syllables
line 3 - 7 syllables
line 4 - 6 syllables
line 5 - 5 syllables
line 6 - 4 syllables
line 7 - 3 syllables
line 8 - 2 syllables
line 9 - 1 syllable
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Nice. Loved the theme along with the form.
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Omg. That was incredible Amera! I mean it. I learn so much from you
I've never tried all these different forms before but yess, I will definitely be attempting to write a Nonet very soon. A beautiful write.
Much love
Ylova
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...all i know is, i hope i never have to do one of these with a hundred lines...okay, here i go...
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This one is wickedly awesome. You set the scene and with few words dramatically ended her life... Very vividly I might add!
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Good!
Very nice, considering the restricting form. I liked how concise it was, and how it still managed to flow.
Good luck, and thank you for entering. -
Thank you for showing me a new way of writing
i am very new at writing poetry any tips and
suggestions are welcome , Great write -
The Artful Death
Murder most fowl, a death with flare and the reaper watch on – a very powerful image. Death (or murder) by cyanide has been written about from antiquity. Yet your words are fresh and inviting, not BITTER. I yearn for the sweet smell of almonds upon my lips and to survive the encounter to live another day to enjoy your prose.
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Thank you for entering my contest
This form is new to myself, I shall have to watch out for it again, I have read your author's notes explaining how this particular form works, thank you for taking the time to explain it all. It does present your poem on the page in a sort of pattern which is pleasing to the eye.
Your choice of title fits well with the graphic you were given to work from. The first word, also the last word marry well together!
I wonder if the word "spilling" as in... spilling the glass, could be perhaps changed for another word? or, the line could be worked to incorporate the words spilling into the glass, rather than ... gushed from her mouth spilling the glass? just a thought to help the idea seem tangible.Thank you for entering the contest:)
~Katie~
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Love the form, you do form poetry so well. This is a true write of which is you. The flow is wonderful and the word choice suberb, as always you have done it with an elegance, very becoming to such a dark write.
A very interesting and deep piece.
Lovely work.
Thank you for sharing and best to you in contest!
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mystic
Thanks for the kind words mystic, and the bunnies. Love, Amera
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very interesting form. as for the content, i pictured the classic suicide with poisod. Romeo and Juliet, however Juliet actualy stabbed ehrself, i still pictured it in this poem. very well done
Good Write and God Bless
Pastoral Poet
Ben B. -
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Pastor
Thank you for the comment on my poem and thank you very much for the blessing.
Until the whole world hears, Amera
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i love love your play on the word 'wasted', that drew me in right away. i really havae to commend you for making the most of this very rigid form, very belieable, quite nicely done, especially with the ending lines. the only things that i was caught up on were the first image, blood gushing, as it seems a little improbable.. dripping maybe? the word "agonal" also seemed a little awkward because the rest of the poem flows very very naturally
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Thank you for your kind comment. I see your point, I’m a physician and that seems to be a drawback for me. Blood is actually vomited thus gushing and agonal is a common term we use in medicine. I need to think more in lay terms.
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you know, being a physician doesn't have to be a drawback, and it doesn't mean you have to refrain from using terms from your field, but you have to go one way or the other. i think the image of blood being vomited is actually stronger than the word 'gushing', which has been used... a lot. my point is, you could have a poem entirely in 'normal' terms, in which case just the one word from medicine feels very off, or a poem in which you use the patient and specific descriptions you would as a physician, using your own terms.
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Clever, dark, and fun. Did you notice the number of the line added to the number of syllables always equals ten? I like it and give three bunnies, one of which has been poisoned. I'm betting on lefty!
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