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Love bares all things

 

 

 

When daddy died,
mommy then became a prostitute.
I was eleven then,
at school they made fun of me.

Little freddy who was my best friend;
one day called me names too.
He talked of me like I was some kind of disease.
I got very mad, ever since, I walked home alone.

I got home, dinner was already cooked.
I did not eat, I was too pissed off
and never did I question mother, though I knew,
everything she did were all because of me.

After daddy died, we got evicted,
our neighbor, she was our friend
but when things went wrong, she started acting strange.
I still remember her name.

Her name was Rose,
she was so red, we called her red rose.
I remember that day,
the day that changed me into a man

Late night, it was raining,
we had no where to go.
We rang mrs. Rose's bell,
the light turned on, no one came out.

Mommy took my hand and we walked to the nearest bridge,
there we spent the night.
All night long she kept on apologizing,
"Mommy, don't worry, it's okay".

Morning came, we had no food to eat
She asked a man for some money
and then he said, "I'll help you if you help me".
Mommy cried and accepted.

The man was wealthy, he paid mommy well.
As I recalled, two thousand of dollars.
Mommy smiled, "tonight baby, we're going to a motel".
There we went and spent the night.

Mommy's dead too, she no longer lives,
she killed herself and left me behind.
When she found out that the man was HIV positive,
she committed suicide.

She left me a note behind,
"baby, I will always love you".

Everyday, I walk to her grave.
See what I got for you today,
I smile and drop rose petals.
My simple way of saying I love her too.







Author notes

Love comes in different shapes and forms.

Don't overlook this piece because it is not all mushy.
I think it is an amazing write. I hope it reads well with you.

Read it twice. Or come back to it some other time.





I want you to adopt me. I want to become your son.

I want to become your son. Give me a home, shekter me.



Mackie

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • fake-or-real-smile
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem and very well written.

    Well done.


  • ruthie fallen angel
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow this was so sad
    good write
    good luck and thanks for entering my contest


  • Brazos silver member
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A sad story, life makes a mockery of a lot of us, and it's hard to find friends when you're down. Good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering.

    Novy & Brazos


  • ennovy silver member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sad, strong story lines, and you kept my attention...Thank you for entering our contest...Novy & Brazos


  • peregrin
    September 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so touching.
    Fantastic write.
    Thanks for your entry.


  • Celtic Legend
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so sad! i'll be your sister any day! i'd be glad to. aww crap i hope i don't break the keyboard! *sniffle* i am so sorry for your loss!


  • upperworld06
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that's amazing, my arm hairs were standing up. the only thing i saw was in this line "The man was wealthy, she paid mommy well." she should probably be he. other than that great job and good luck


  • Quill Bill
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I was waiting for a punch line,


  • Jenny84
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WoW.

    This piece was really great. I think it was sad but I love the end. I think that it's good that there was still respect for your mother. Sometimes people have to do what they have to do. It is sad but true. you can really feel the love between both of you. Good luck with everything.


  • nature mithya
    September 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    With pride I can say

    This is the best Gold I have seen.

  • longshot
    September 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I remember this poem. I cried the first time I read it ummm on Jan. 24
    Thank you for sharing the depths of your soul with me it was good to read this poem again.
    This account is low on points I can't applaud you so I have to give you these



  • Chelsea Void
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's a touching story. I find it reads more like a story; it would be much better as a descriptive short story than as a poem. There are different meanings to the word raw. The "raw" that you present in this poem is simple stated fact. The "raw" that I'm looking for is an imagery-filled power.
    Your piece is in no way "bad", it is really just a skeleton of what could be a riveting piece of prose.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have some good ideas in this poem, but it needs some cleaning up. It could be a great write, but right now it needs a lot of work.

    thanks
    whisper


  • Edna Sweetlove
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love a bit of satire and this really is a topclass parody of so many of the "poems" I read here. I must read more of your stuff!


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    February 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is very deep and sad.
    So true for many throughout the world
    today. I love the thought that you put
    into this and the point of view that
    you wrote it in. Great work expressing
    yourself here. All the best to you in
    this contest and thanks a lot for
    sharing it here!




    Jeremy0826


  • Metaphorist
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I'm sorry for what you've been through. Thanks for entering.


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    February 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this one nearly made me cry! I can only imagine going through such a thing, and it makes your readers realize that things like family should never be taken for granted. This is a beautiful, heart-wrenching poem, full of such emotion and love. Well done, and I wish you the very best.

    Laura
    xxx


  • warrior-eagle
    January 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The man was wealthy, she paid mommy well..I thinkyou meant he paid mommy well

    Wow.
    This broke my heart,
    yet I found happinesss in it because
    she did everything for you.
    And I liked this.

    ..Simply Me♥


  • TheShadowsOfMe
    January 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing write my heart goes out to you


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    January 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is an incredibly heartfelt poem that is just filled to the brim with heartache, devotion, and love.

    However, the fist rule in my contest is "Do not enter your poem in my contest and another at the same time"

    So I am going to have to DQ you from mine.
    Best of luck in the other contest


  • z etoile
    January 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. this story is so much like my students that I taught... can't stop crying I can see the pain.
    They all had such similar stories.
    Sweety I am not sure if this is just a poem, but you are so loved you are such a precious friend.
    Don't know if its true but I have heard so many similar stories a million times over.
    Lotsa love
    MJ


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pulls the tears from my heart...your words paint such a sad story for the mind to read...I do hope this is just a poem...thank you so much for sharing and entering


  • omg-its-sara
    January 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is sooooo sad! It's very, very good. Good luck in the contest!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow that is such a sad story!!! What a lot of heart break and yet the unconditional love shown is truly amazing!! A child who had to grow up far too soon!

    Thanks for this great entry!!

  • juno0404
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is another piece that is so heartbreaking.
    This hurt in so many places, you told a very sad story in a piece that flowed smoothly.

    "Mommy took my hand and we walked to the nearest bridge,
    there we spent the night.
    All night long she kept on apologizing,
    "Mommy, don't worry, it's okay".

    Morning came, we had no food to eat
    She asked a man for some money
    and the he said, "I'll help you if you help me".
    Mommy cried and accepted."

    I liked that you did not add any frills to this, you just shared the truth of the story.
    Amazing.
    Thank you for sharing.


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    January 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was perfect, really beautiful and I would love to have you for my son. I'm adopted in real life and I know what it's like to be accepted into a family x


  • Devils Reject
    January 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very sad piece. You told the story well.


  • Deformed Duck
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad!!! But I love it sooooooo much! I'm adding it to my favorites so i can read it every day! It's so sad but happy too!
    (:
    ):


  • LadyUnique silver member
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very realistic
    i like that it's written from the son's point of view. children have a different, clearer perspective of what's going on. they don't miss a thing
    good luck in the contest


  • LaPoetaSinLimites
    January 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sad but beautiful

  • toolenduso
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good. Kind of reminds of the Neon Bible, which I mention everywhere since I just finished it. And I love the message behind it too--not to mention the way you chose to convey that message. Kudos


  • I am a Mindfreak
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a well written poem. Although a sad poem, you showed the mother's love for the son in it. It also shows that not everyone has it easy in life. Great write and keep up the great work.


  • Mr C
    February 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Bravo- excellent write.


  • Aurielle
    February 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah i thought this was really good but i wanted to know if this was true or was made for the contest because it sounds sad.


  • HaleighGrace
    February 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    AAAAAAAWWWWWWW

    This is so-so sad.
    GL in this contest
    HALEIGH

1 - 35 of 35