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sweeps outside swoops

not bittersweet
fructose with a touch of acid
puzzle stops tastebuds

Thoughts percolate

coral ribbons
she bounces up and down in
making her own waves of memories
she dances with tides
against shore found in a balancing bar
with no speaker
not just tights
she drinks in the changes of standing
not wallowing in that she has to swallow
by the wall
shoes not shooed away though
to allow removing the other
quiet warmness of leg
delete it before a ten year old can read it isn't
in the sounds of rush just for interceptions
any person though none come in.

humor
roominess finds
a nail and the stub
of the toe meets someone with
hammer

Thanks simmers.

Floating knocked objects.
A clot looks like pursed lips.
Love
Oh
dreaming energy

echograph a giraffe of fever
nibbling the leaves of cool cloth.

Author notes

anonymous contest is with hush, don't use my name in contests. I will be mute with replies until after judging is done.

the competition didn't mention good luck, let's keep it that way.

A contest entry

Are you thinking?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Blue Rew silver member
    March 21, 2007

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    I can see her and she keeps an inner time and the room she's in doesn't feel lonely anymore. I love exploring these lines you write with such curves and change of direction...it is the road not taken. Blue


    • PetrifiedAfforded
      March 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      concentration not taken apart

      Blue (you can make a little happy),

      I am overjoyed you thought this realistic for "I can see her and she keeps an inner time and the room she's in doesn't feel lonely anymore" as you didn't just say someone but like I pronounced for pronoun sake. Welcome, Blue Rew, reader.

      And yes, space can have spatial application aside, for, and with social. And the dormancy of that can be audible in idea or detoured to different expression of it.

      I must admit, a new venture of the contest got tuned into, when heard on the radio mention of motorcycle and I was by a highway on went by on then at that moment. One didn't zone out the other but had sound effects of the other like a blended world, so habit was quieter.

      Also, by that subject today, thought in head could even have detachment so momentary it was of no mind minute when I tried to avoid a black bug on my path but couldn't trust how with not expecting it to fly around my ankle!

      Hope these paragraphs aren't buzzing a barber's shop but sweepings of lawn semi-naturally.

      5:27 more poetry is pointed to, yours included after daughter's...
      ~Carolyn


  • Moonlit-Reveries
    February 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Your language and imagery were really breathtaking here. I love these piece. This was my favorite part:

    coral ribbons
    she bounces up and down in
    making her own waves of memories
    she dances with tides

    Thanks for entering and best of luck in my contest.

    • PetrifiedAfforded
      February 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      hostess

      Moonlit-Reverie (sweet dreams synonym?),

      I was quite taken my what you were letting us write for you, yet not letting after that as it was up to us, so it wasn't a set thing that you din't have to come and see! I'm happy you enjoyed the visit with your contestant.

      Remarkably enought, the aspect you appreciated the best was from what the whole thing emerged with tinkering. I'm not a summarizer only after the fact that thus I worked out tin for honorable mention, because the nitty gritty you found in my poem 2 days ago lets me in on how to feel included from the get go.

      Thanks, again, for the schema to make entries for you upon. Having it brought up this evening once more with jobs well done, it makes me, out of my own volition, try it all over now. What would be pitched from now? Fingers on lips, not signaling for some dumbness for astonishment even to anyone else, just casually concentrating fidgetally and then I got my volumes overpowered by memory of a cry of mine I frustratingly tried to stifle myself during in hours of guests. With my hand in that position throughout recollection I had a silent movie of me blubbering with me eating the popcorn pose almost!

      7:42 for carbohydrates?
      ~Carolyn

  • tara wilson gold member
    February 21, 2007

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    This leaves me speechless. I love your work. 'thoughts percolate' does deserve space of its own. I love your alliteration and this poem

1 - 5 of 5