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Why?

Why must you keep breaking my heart?
Why do you keep hurting me so?
Do you like seeing me in pain?
Do you enjoy seeing me cry?
Does it make you feel better seeing my tears?
Just tell me you don't want me and get it over with.
My friends all keep asking "What's wrong?"
But I can't tell them its you.
You are what's making me cry all the time.
Even if I did tell them its you, they would all get pissed at the mention of your name.
Why do I love you so?
Why you?
Why me?
Why?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...That's the only question I keep coming back to...
...
...Why?

Author notes

Lightless Angel

A contest entry

Just something I was feeling one night. Wanted to get it out.

    : , Your review:

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Nam
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "But I can't tell them its you." - "its" would be "it's".

    "Even if I did them its you," [cut line] - "its" would be "it's".

    The repetition of the ellipses, and the last line of "Why?" are not needed. You can do the spacing without the ellipses, and I feel that'd work better.


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    September 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    deep with sadness, thanks for entering


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    username in notes please or I DQ


  • Kimojuno
    September 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Perfect.

    I love your style-it's powerful-keep up your writing and never give up. I know people have hurt you but what can you do? Give in? No. Keep on going! You will make it through.

    I love your poetry;
    Jeff.


  • Dark Whispers
    April 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That is a question that all bad relationship have . this was a nice little poem and i really enjoyed reading it.


  • Heavens Child
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    An emotional write... unfortunately we never seem to get an answer to the hard question of why. Thank you for the entry in my contest.


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    April 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was a great write....and the question why can be such a frustrating question that usually dosent give one the answers they are searching for..but nontheless i really enjoyed reading this poem keep writting your very talented and good luck in the contest


  • perfect relief
    February 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way that you decided to set this poem up. It makes it intetresting to read something in this format. However, I'm not sure that I'm feeling the ellipses. If you had used them every other line that you skipped instead of on every line it may have been more like a fluid train of thought.


  • sprack44
    February 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i really like that you are asking all the questions which seems so vainly.

    This is a powerful piece and i really like it
    i also like the anger in
    saying that your friends keep asking you whats wrong but you just cant say taht it is you

    VERY nice

  • perfect relief
    February 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting question to ask yourself...I find myself asking this question a lot. It's a great write packed with genuine emotion.

    Thank you for entering and good luck!

1 - 10 of 10