Fire fire burning bright,
Come to keep my soul alight,
Lift my spirits, warm my hands,
Prettiest predator of the lands.
Fire fire savage beast,
Burn the world on which you feast,
Dusty ashes mark your path
Of heat and anger, rage and wrath.
Fire fire gift of Love,
A comfort sent from Him above
To warm the world on darkened night,
Guide them with your wondrous light.
Fire fire eat! Devour
All those that undermine your power
Destroy the lives of those that may,
Be fool enough to get in your way.
Fire fire burning bright,
Come to keep my soul alight,
Lift my spirits, warm my hands,
Prettiest predator of the lands.
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Ooo this was really good. Your repitition is nice and the rhyming flows so well. Great job on this.
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Wow its clearly a poetic pyro! You did a great job with this .... Totally made me feel like I was in someones head. Good luck in the contest ~ You penned it PERFECTLY!
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This poem captivated me quite literally and so I found myself reading it over and over again. Once I’d managed to pull myself free from it I wondered why it had that effect on me and I came to several conclusions.
Firstly the rhythm is like that of a catchy tune that is only heard once or twice but never forgotten. “London’s Burning” was instantly recalled from my childhood into my thoughts, though that song is far too simplistic than this write warrants. Poetry that promotes memories rather than telling me what I should be thinking, is far more rewarding to me as a reader.
While I wouldn’t normally recommend the frequent repetition of words, as you’ve done here, I think this piece of work benefits from it because it contributes to a lyrical feel, and therefore was another reason why I liked it. I could imagine this almost as a folk song, passed through generations before the majority of people could read.
Moving on to the content, I personally think the author could have expanded to include other elements of fire. On the nature side, the destruction of the land is well demonstrated in the second stanza, but I felt this could be extended to show that while fire is destructive, the land sometimes welcomes it for rejuvenation, in fact there are some plants and animals that only survive where they do, due to fire. It’s possible the author didn’t include this as this poem is setting a dark scene, but I think it would appeal to a wider audience. This dark setting is also apparent in stanza four. However, the first and third stanza’s, in my opinion, air a lighter view of fire, even though they refer to it as a predator. Predators are good and positive things and without them the nature of this world would be off balance. These two stanzas also feel spiritual about them, stanza one says that we need fire to keep us warm and lift our spirits, and stanza three says that fire is a “gift of Love,
A comfort sent from Him above” so I’m sure that many readers will find this a positive remark and not dark at all.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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Beautiful imagery. I love the way you repeat "Fire Fire." The rhyming pattern is wonderful. This just seems to flow like a song with an almost primitive rhythm. The repitition of the first stanza at the end really is a wonderful ending. Well done.
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Spirtual
This sent a chill down my spine, I loved the rhyme thought it flowed quite nicely but the fire, fire mantra started to get on my nerves by the end, maybe I'm just tired though. I see your reasoning for the repitition it fits in well with each stanza, great job you sure captured my attention.
. Rewarded 6
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I really liked this poem. The rhyming flows nicely and it is a joy to read.
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You know after reading this again It reminds me of an old rhyme from school. the cadence is exactly the same. "fire, fire, false alarm, baby chit in fathers arms. Father went to get a switch, baby called him son of a. pitch me out the window landed on a rock, along came a bumble bee and stung me on my cocktail, ginger ale, .5c a glass, if you dont like it, stick it up your, ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies,if you get hit with a bucket of chit, be sure to close your eyes".....
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Awesome
This is a wonderful piece of work, I Love this stanza "Fire fire gift of Love,
A comfort sent from Him above
To warm the world on darkened night,
Guide them with your wondrous light." its just awesome, keep up the great work...Scott -
: )
Wow this was great! I liked how it rhymed and how you used the many aspects of fire. This was very well-written. Thanks for sharing.
. Rewarded 4
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that is so so cool i love your poems
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bravo
Ah, with apologies, I assumed to William Blake? Very, very deftly done poem, quick and rapid as is Blake's masterpiece. (note: you vary the syllable length of some lines, if you keep all of the lines the same length the poem would be much improved.) excellent! Superb! bravo...bravo...bravo...
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this is really good! i really enjoyed this piece!
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Excellent. Very lyrical in how it reads. I have to agree with the others on this. It's a very illustrative piece. Thanks.
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I like it this a lot It's different. nice write.
marius -
wow i really like this sindical but understanding
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awesome
hey i love this love the rhyme it's very original and not foce, i like how you divided up in sections like a short song it's very cool...
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wow that is a good one
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great!
I love the imagery in this poem, especially the first/last stanza, tis very colorful. I am new here and looking to make friends; so I am adding you, okay?
I have a secret liking for fire...probably a litle too much.
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i really like this- i'm gonna have to read some of your other stuff!
Good job
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very very nice... i like the rhyme and rhythem
... and i like how you repeated the first stanza and the last... great job and good luck in the contest...
-tabbykat -
this is great and I do agree that this should be read out loud because it is that good and it's that well written. Great Write and best of luck in the contest.
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Whoa.
This is insanely intense. I LOVE it. Good luck in the contest!
<3BeautifulDisaster9
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this poem was melodic to me, begging to be read aloud. It was almost like a chant or a prayer. I really liked it. the rhyme flowed effortlessly.great job.
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Pyro power!!!!
._. it kind of sounds like a prayer dearie, I it's cute though(not sure why but I think it's cute) ^-^ -
For a pyro poem, you nailed the theme with such poetous glee. I loved this work because it took an old concept and made it new. And the repitition of 'fire fire' made me thing of Rammstein's "Fire Frei" song with it's repitition of 'bang bang' Very Good job
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I like the way your words sound as I read them aloud. Great imagery that keeps flickering and moving engulfing and devouring. You have a good rhyme and feel the mood is set and the atmosphere electric ...overall a well crafted poem and I thank you for the pleasure the jounrey of the path you lead me through. Good luck in the contes
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Amazing!!!!
lol...omg...I love this...not just because it's GREAT...but also because it has a touch of sweetness to it!! I love it!!! Keep it up my dear friend!!
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Wondeful, just wonderful.. Well done x
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