it starts with believing the packaging
like when you buy nicotine patches
guaranteed to make you quit smoking
& the only way they are going to work
is if you put one over each eye
so you can't see where you're smokes are
or put one over your mouth
so the cigarette
can't be put in
& it's preached from the pulpit
by black cloaked sin
that scorns homosexuality
& babies born far from chastity
whilst impregnating novice nuns
& taking the innocence of choirboys
in cries of damned if you tell
damned if you don't
& the noose of gold rolled
around neck with vows unkept
by guys with flies that unzip
as often as they sneer lip
weighs heavy on women
& offspring
wintering
in black & blue
& the educated legal eagle
standing up in court
to misrepresent
the criminals rights
when he knows
he knows
his client is guilty
tell me this
who is culpable
the just ice system
or society
& the man with a plan
to rule the world
at the inflated cost
of negation
for other mens lives
are but pawns
in a human game of chess
played in pretence of awe
& the only shock is
that he stands on the podium
pontificating still
& in the search for bigger thrill
they fashion cars in go faster til
death do us part grim reap of road
where the speedometer has hit 120 mph
on a 60mph limit
& why build what can't be driven
that fast if it drives consumers
underground
& guys that direct skin flicks
urging scream honey scream
for this thick wad
of notes
are the one's responsible for
every guy wondering why
his girl doesn't yell
like a banshee from hard-fucked hell
after all
he's copied the pump and hump
of the same movie
& he wants action
not realizing
all along those stars were acting
& where does it start I wonder
this propensity
to feed bullshit for every meal
maybe it starts with the tooth fairy
after all
we teach kids don't take stranger's
gifts or let them in the house
then say place your babyteeth
under the pillow
& a fairy will exchange for a dollar
it's literally everywhere
& the stink of it all
permeates the air
as shoulders shrug off the order
after bill paid
to have a nice day
& maybe we could if we didn't
feed kids on saccharine
to stop them getting fat
& made the streets safe
so they could leave the play
station and play
or didn't read mills & boon
without noticing it is
in the category of fiction
& that no tall dark stranger
tanned with strong shoulders
is ever going to look
at you and only you
to the sound of birdsong
& the bouquet of red roses
so we all join the race
to inhabit space
& it won't matter how far
mankind travels or
if he meets klingons
or venutians
or finds a planet
with seven moons
as long as he pedals
& backpedals bullshit
lies & deciet
he'll take the smell
with him
wherever he goes
but we lift pens
sing songs
for a solution
& not enough
are buying it
as there isn't
an advertisement
with a half naked girl
selling it to them
it's a man's world
& read his-story
of what he
has done to it
& still he bleats
about that apple
that cost him a ribbing
from god & blames eve
for letting him eat it
it's all too much
to swallow
but there is not much
else to digest
Author notes
NB Anonymous contest entry,please don't use name if you comment,many thanks.
A contest entry
- Secrecy and Lies. Hate and Deceit. Bullshit and Drama. by perfect relief.
450 points, ended March 8, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Over 250 Poems by zhaniswolf.
350 points, ended July 23, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i did ask for no cussing even though it fits with this poem. besides, it's too good of a poem; you're puting yourself kinda low. you discuss so many issues and i agree with all of them.
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You discuss a lot of things in this poem, and you still carry a fluid thought pattern. It's well written, and I like how you can tackle so many issues in this. You use so many real-life examples and I think that it is wonderful. Most people don't realize what they are doing until it is explained to them and you have lain many things open. I also like how you tie together some of your ideas by going back and making refrence to them again (i.e. the preacher). You do it so effortlessly.
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LOL..just give a kid another plastic gun for christmas and then complain how they are all turning to real guns in their adult years and the world keeps spinning. Or i love your example and also..dont talk to strangers but its ok to knock on stranger's door to sell your cookies or chocolate bars...
A mix of the bitter hard truth with a dash of the giggles for me,
Loved this, Bravo girl!
galfalfa
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I like the way that you use real situations and real things that effect so many people as you wrote this. so many times we only decide to think about ourselves, but you have managed to think of the masses collectively. Good job and good luck!
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excellent!wonderful style and message and structure!
lovely poem!!!very original!well done!
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Brilliant, this is the best write from you I've ever read, and never a truér word was said, the whole world is full of bullshit, I do love the stanza about the niccoteine patches lmao my sister who is giving up smoking will love that..... we are sold on whatever people try to tell us these days, gullible we are, into believing everything they say is right, I don't plan to stand for it personally... I love this and the message... gonna bookmark this one right now
Karen
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If it doesn't make a difference or change anything, it is bullshit.
Some of the best bull shit is facts. Sometimes the fantasy in my eyes is your greatest truth and the joy you share makes me richer and more able to bear up. Perhaps it is when we take no responsiblity for what we create, do not honor ourselves and each other as creators and beings, have lost our sense of grace and cannot be fluid with time then we become petty and small. Vengence is mine sayeth the lord but Iraq can't let go of yesterday and so destroys itself. Bush wants to forgive but on his terms and his salvation so while waiting for heroic applause, Darfur commits genocide, Irag self destructs and takes us with it. We are here, along with everything else, to celebrate our gifts.
Have you hugged yourself lately.
Love Tom B.
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This is a very powerful, honest and truth filled write . . . you have so much passion, can see clearly the wrongs of this world and have expressed your feelings with a cutting edge . . . I LOVE IT! WELL DONE!!!!!!!!
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Poetry:
Style - a well flowed commentary style free form. Very well executed!
Rhythm was very cool. I like this type of poetry anyway and you used this technique very well.
Subject:
The subject was a little bit over-board on the negative side for me. I tend to want a suggested sollution to the issues somewhere in the angst but I'm a man with hope and hope-spreading is a part of my job
.
PS - properly taught, the Bible does not have Eve accountable but the responsibility was left solely on Adam and, regarding some other comments, we are to love the sinner but hate the sin. This requires a compassion and love for everyone, which is not to be confused with condoning that which GOD does not like, but doing this means you always love the person and encourage the person to live holy while at the same time clearly teaching GOD's expectations for us.
One Love,
John
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