these moments are in honour
of anniversary of vows
made & kept with love
toasted with champagne kiss
& she stands in the purity
of white she gifted him
with the honey of the moon
that cried tears of joy
as union became not mystery
but majestic thrumm & musk
shared in own perfume
when her man
her king
her husband
made her his
his queen
his wife
& every inch a woman
Author notes
NB Anonymous contest entry,please don't use name if you comment,many thanks indeed.
A contest entry
- Champagne Or Love by ennovy.
550 points, ended February 21, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Superb, I love the the king and queen refernce cause really that is how it feels when you finally marry the love of your life, fabulous job here, full of wonderful imagery... goodluck in the contest
Karen -
Great.
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Wondering??
The poem reads like it is a tribute to a married couple. Whether they are married or not is not quite a certainty, until the last line, when, it is made clear. Can't say that I'm thrilled with the fact, that her husband, her king made her his queen. Could never, quite stand the fact that the female always has to be made into something or acted upon by a male influence. Why can't we all just be equal. Okay, enough of my ramblings, other than that, it is a great read, I like the fact that you do not use punctuation and capitals, why do what is expected. Bravo.
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you wrote for this picture very well.
thank you for sharing this with me and i wish you the best of luck in this contest which we both have entered. viyanna rosemarie -
This piece was delicate in a way I cannot explain, and sweet in a way I couldn't avoid. It made me smile and nod, and then my eyes watered near the end. For a contest piece, I think you did very well, and the fact that it is freeverse only makes my smile grow, for they are slowly wandering out of the minds of poets who get caught up in rhyme and rhythm, form and flow. Great Write here, and Good Luck!
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Sweetness in verse
wonderful write, very vivid..I enjoyed the read, Thanks for entering my contest. Great free verse...ennovy
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It's a good poem... You just need to capitalise some words and add punctuation
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I appreciate your direction but I write lower case & without punctuation as is my preference to write that way,I sincerely hope it's ok to leave it like that,and totally understand it won't be placed,am honestly not disputing your view,just explaining mine Many thanks
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