From tinsel town a call to arms
The past alit and truth a pawn
Of hatred that the gray did spawn
A catapult of ancient trade
Where fear could easily be laid
Confused, the poor were found dismayed
Could it be that black and white
This tale be told of only right
Through celluloid they might rewrite?
And what dare be said of being free
The founding father's guarantee
That makes a world for you and me?
A contest entry
- On This Day by DyeBieFyre.
390 points, ended February 11, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hooray! She loved it! Well, a southern belle was bound to be rattled by that mention of the gray but I thought it worked well in relation to the color the poem really took on in the third stanza and wondered about whether this film had recently been colorized, like they did with the Wizard of Oz. An awesome theme you chose; I knew that dbf would appreciate the theme, though thank goodness her penchant for the serious and political didn't win out over the devil himself!
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Great write, congratulations!
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Very good!
A very good poem, as poetry goes, there's no doubt. "Birth of a Nation" is definately a film worth the consideration, and your short ode does a good job encapsulating that. The structural flow, moving from the concrete to the abstract, was well done.
That being said, the first lines of both the third and fourth stanza are both off their syllable counts. Was that on purpose? Other than that, I was largely impressed by your syllables and rhythm. The rhyme was a little hard-pressed, though it was a bold stab to have a triolet rhyme structure.
For a bit more of a subject grasp, what do you mean by gray? Please tell me you don't mean the Confederates were the ones "spawning evil". Now, if gray is referring to the celluloid shades of the movie, I'd definately agree.
Either way, thank you for your poem.
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