Blank pieces of paper and trashcans filled with tasteless rhymes
Frustration boils over and boggles the mind
I've cursed you, hated you and cried countless times
For I know you are one missing piece to the harmony I'm trying to find.
All I want is to know your name
Yet I wish I didn't give a fuck
Everytime I try it's all the same
Put pen to paper but my mind is stuck.
It pains me to think, It's to hard to talk, so how else can I deal
When writing fails all I can do is sit here and cry
The reality of it all that everday I wake does reveal
Is just enough to make me want so desperately to die.
Mommy, I'm in love with my sorrow
Daddy, the blade is my friend
When will I stop hating tomorrow
When will my heart mend
Lost in a maze where every window and door leads to a wall
This search for myself is pointless and I'm finally through
For I've come to a conclusion from everytime I'd fall
I'll never truly know who I am until I know you
Holding on and drifting away
Hiding behind this innocent disguise
Laughing and smiling everyday
So not a soul sees the pain in my eyes
Drowning in the unknown secrets of my life that only you can tell
The constant questioning bores into my soul and hits like a bus
They say long distance relationships never work out well
In my eyes your farther away than any amount of miles can seperate us.
I thought you'd know the longer you wait
We will grow even farther apart
So take a deep breath and open the gate
And fly a plane straight to my heart.
I heard once that sleep is the cousin of death so to speak
Please know that I die everytime I close my eyes to dream
My future is growing nearer and its looking bleak
Please know that I fade away everytime I open my mouth to scream
This girl I know is dead, rotting in pain
And only you can save her
Our only connection is the blood in my veins
And I bleed to make us feel closer
Slipping steadily and slowly for so long my hands are scarred and wary
Finally done but now I'm drowning in this bloody sea of despair
My breath is lost, my chest is tight and it's so surreal and scary
How can I be saved if I'm reaching for a floating device that was never there
Author notes
A week ago my neices mother contacted her after like 12 years and I got so damn jealous. I want so bad to know my parents but I dont think they want to know me.
At the end I'm saying how can they save me if they were never there. It sucks and I need to cry now.
PS: I hate this title, please leave idea's in the comment area
(thanx Jason, lol)
A contest entry
- Secrecy and Lies. Hate and Deceit. Bullshit and Drama. by perfect relief.
450 points, ended March 8, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - orphanages and foster care by Elvenfairy.
300 points, ended June 10, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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I came here under return the favour , How pleased i am that i did so This is an excellent while sad write, as a Father who,d die willingly for his daughters i find it so hard to understand how anyone could not stay and watch and aid their child to grow.They joys i had doing it are worth more than anything to me.I read the pain in this piece and know that until you find the answers things have little chance of changing.Though they may not be the answers you wish to hear.I am rambling now i just meant to say a most enjoyable read Thank you
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"I heard once that sleep is the cousin of death so to speak
Please know that I die everytime I close my eyes to dream"
I can most identify with that particular statement. It is powerful and beautiful and sad, all at the same time. -
Powerful
I thought you'd know the longer you wait
We will grow even farther apart
So take a deep breath and open the gate
And fly a plane straight to my heart.
Slipping steadily and slowly for so long my hands are scarred and wary
Finally done but now I'm drowning in this bloody sea of despair
My breath is lost, my chest is tight and it's so surreal and scary
How can I be saved if I'm reaching for a floating device that was never there
This is an awesome poem my friend!!
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Many Thanks
I'd like to say thank you for the person that nominated this poem for front page. Whoever you are I appreciate it so much! Much Love -
Infinate loss.
That is really all I can bring to sum up this poem and the note thereafter. I truly felt this and could almost see you raining tears on your keyboard when you wrote it. Powerful, it's obvious you poured your heart and soul into it.
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I liked reading this poem, it was like I was quickly reading a book and turning every page to find out what was really behind the lines. I love it, but as just a peer critique I think you could use more imagistic comparisons to use as your metaphors- it would strengthen your poem, like in the line "fly a plane into my heart" could be strengthened thus.
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this is an amazing poem, I like the wording and the way it flowed. I can feel the emotion you put into it. excellent write
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The long stanzas were just too long for my tastes, though you did keep a decent flow with them. I don't know what else to say but keep writing because you obviously have talent!
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I loved it. Not sure what else to say, the beginning reminds me so much of me it scares me.
Love D.L.
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Oh how I can relate! Good Job
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Excellently written with well chosen words and poignant similes. The language is stern and gives one feelings of a barren, wasted soul. I think you've done some deep writing here. I suggest one of you lines "blood in veins" as a morer apt title than displaced demise.
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wow
wonderful expression, your anger,sadness,anguish..everything is very well expressed
loved reading it
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please double check the rules ok?
I think everyone wishes they knew something about their parents, even if they wish they didn't want to. It is just the way humans are. This was a very powerful and eemotional poem. Thanks for entering it into my contest -
!!!!!
absolutely amazing work again babe. i'm gona add you to my favs i hope you dont mnd? i really enjoy your work and i can't wait to see what is coming next.
by the way i got chucked by mum when i was 5. she eventually came and found me when i was 21 only to dissapear again once the relationship started to grow which i just can't understand and i believe and i feel that it would have been better for her to have just stayed away and yet the funny thing is is that i have only ever wanted 2 things in life for myself. 1= to be happy + 2= to have a mummy. i still dont have a mummy and i never will have and i am far far far from happy. i hope one day i will be but untill then i will wallow in the blackness untill the light feels that i may deserve to breath and live.
take care and god blessx
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DAAAAAAAAAAAMN......... that was the best poem I think I hacve seen on AP and the fact that it is long didn't even mater because I was hooked by the first line in other words great poem and keep it up. holla
4 PLAY
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Wowza. Packed tight with emotion and poetic device!
Enjoyed your Displaced Demise...that sounds funny when I say it like that! Anyways keep up the good work you have going here.
Always,
Creatress
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Well, this is amazing, so heartfelt, full of sadness and emotions, I got all sorts of vibes with this piece. The flow and imagery is so great, touching very touching, thanks so much for sharing this and hope that getting all of this out helped you find some kind of solace, good job.
MxA -
Amazing
I really really loved this poem. It's so sad and heartfelt. This is one of the peices that can only be written from that experience, if you were a happy little cheerleader i don't think you could write this lol. I love it so much. Definately keep it up.
-Manda -
Wicked
"I heard once that sleep is the cousin of death so to speak
Please know that I die everytime I close my eyes to dream
My future is growing nearer and its looking bleak
Please know that I fade away everytime I open my mouth to scream"
My favorite part. ^
Definetly one of the best poems you've written, incredibly deep, it sounds almost like a diary entry. Love the flow and word choice as well, and the kind of speech used. Wonderful, wicked write.
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I'm sorry that you feel this way, but I do thank you for sharing it with me. It's a sad predicament, but you've written about it very well.
Thank you for entering the contest and the best of luck to you in it.
If you want a more abstract title...you could call it something like "Paper Parents" or "Broken Bloodline". -
Amazingly deep and hearfelt write. Many others do not know the pain inside, but the pen surely does. Many times the only path towards expression is one through freely opening the emotions and letting it all be sucked out.
Great write my dear.
Much love,
Ben
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Displaced Demise (idea 4 title)
Yes this is sad, but extremely well written,
what happens to us makes us who we are,
and you're already an absolutely amazing poet,
wish I could snap my fingers n make everything better,
but I guess that's what poetry is here for huh?
Keep writing, you're awesome.
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this was such a sad poem and filled with so much pain 
Im so sorry you feel like this no one should have to go through this. Keep writting you are very talented and good luck in the contest 
Thanks for your comment on my poem Simply another fuck up it means alot to me
~Chrissy~
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Sad as hell!
Wow. I'm so sorry. This truly made me want to cry, and poetry doesn't usually do that to me. This poem made me so thankful for the father that I've got. I wish I could help you somehow, find a way to take away your pain. I know I can't so all I can do is tell you that you have all of my sympathy, sorrow, and love. You did an awesome fucking job writing this poem. I'm proud of you for being able to express such pain so openly. This is truly an incredible poem. Many kudos to you for writing this, and thank you for sharing it.
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Arw!!
Thats really sad babes.. It made me cry...
It's heartbreaking.. like it's one of those poems that makes you want to cry..
I luv u
Cazza
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