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I Disrespected Myself

i disrespected myself

when i knew you had a lady

but yet i decided to proceed and say i was just a freind

but afta months start passing me by

you telling me you want me to be your one and only

i know that shits a lie

why leave the one u love for the one you like

you put foolish thoughts in my head

telling me that you gone break up with her for me

but baby boy dont think ill mess up what u and her have

but as time starts passing

i started really liking this guy

i told him you cant have two becuase ill only accept one

i almost fell for him though

i knew what he had and i know theres a man out there for me

damn im falling to deep

now all your boys know my name

i met your mother and your father

im taking this too far with you

i gotta stop because im disrespecting myself for you

so foolish at one point and time almost that i was in love

but than i remembered you cant love two people

so i had to let him go

i just want you to know one thing

ill always remain your friend

but me and you will never be

more than just a friend

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • trace3grls
    June 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    that is so such a good write.... and so true


  • Kiusha
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The wording truly conveys your struggle of mind and emotion. The topic is very original. Besides fixing spelling and grammar, I would advise to organize this into stanzas, each with a clear idea. For example,

    'but after months had passed me by

    when you told me
    you want me to be your one and only
    though I knew it was a lie
    you wouldn't leave your love for your like

    you put foolish thoughts in my head'

    This way, even though you don't use punctuation, the thought process still stands apart.

    Some of the content is a little repetitive, especially when you first say

    'but afta months start passing me by'

    and then a little later say

    'but as time starts passing'

    However, the repetition does add to the struggle portrayed. Perhaps if it was differently worded, so you don't use the same expression twice, but still say something similar it would not seem repetitive but still convey the meaning you are going for.

    Overall, this is nicely done. Thank you for entering.


    • cali951
      May 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      THank you for your comeent and i was repittive because first it was months and soon it became time because I was waiting and nothing happened I feel what you were saying about the poem but I wouldn't change a word well because when I write about a real life experience I feel as if I wrote it just the way I felt at the time I wrote it but thanks and I'm not gonna stop entering your contest ok


  • Blueskywonder
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very well presented expression of the pains love for another can bring... you did a great job in drawing the reader in-to your world and you have painted a very clear picture for al to share.Well done and thankyou for entering my contest.Good luck.

    • cali951
      February 11, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      Thank you I'm glad someone as yourself can see the true beauty of my simplicity lol the truth thanks for your time and well to you.

  • cali951
    February 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Love It

    I like this one and it is so true. I almost fell in love with that man. Agood one but a liar and a cheater not onmeof course.

1 - 6 of 6