( Villanelle )
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
Love deranges the senses to a fevered pitch,
destroying the existence of here and now, what for?
For love sees with the heart, compelling eyes to ignore
the enchantment that evokes the temptress to bewitch.
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
Love is summer rain, falling on both sea and shore
according the sea to breathe and the earth grow rich.
Destroying the existence of here and now, what for?
For time melts away, wafting like a musical score,
on wings of song, up and away where dreams unhitch.
Cuando amore es no locura, no es amor.
And in creating perfect love we love even more,
rekindling the souls light, that shelters no fear or glitch,
destroying the existence of here and now, what for?
For love is ever flowing, it has no on, off switch
freeing us all to know this euphoria, by which,
destroying the existence of here and now, what for?
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor
Author notes
option 3
A contest entry
- Love poetry by Kiran.
450 points, ended February 11, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So you think your poem is great? by RT michaels.
550 points, ended February 19, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - options LOTS OF EM by ForgottenMemories.
600 points, ended March 18, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Romance: Love, Fantasy and Passion by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended May 11, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - so you think you can write??? by EterNaL-dArkNesS.
327 points, ended June 28, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give Me All Your Gold~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended July 26, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Ever You Want!! by GypsyEyes.
700 points, ended January 21, 2008, 44 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a lot of poems... by love my jose luis.
900 points, ended February 21, 2008, 125 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All you can be? by Erozay.
550 points, ended February 3, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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its good
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Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor
So true, so true, I loved this poem especially with how you blended the Spanish and the English... I think that you did a great job on this poem... Keep up your great work. Good luck in my contest.
~Maria -
this is really beautiful! i really enjoyed the flow! thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
~NineTailedFox -
Beautiful poem!
Very well done. I love the use of the Spanish which is what drew me in right away. Favorite line: For love sees with the heart, compelling eyes to ignore
I saw a PBS special which explained that chemicals released in the brain in the early stages of falling in love suppress the part of the brain that makes critical judgment. The scientific version of what your poem expresses so lyrically.
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Very lovely poem, I love the Spanish in there- very clever.
Overall, it was good, but I have seen better, so I don't think this will win, so I'm going to remove this from the contest. [I have 100 entries.. it's easier to stay organized by doing this] Thanks for entering though.
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Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor, I presume, is the translation of the title? Clever little one here, my friend. Very beautiful and heart felt. It's very true though, love is not quite love with a little bit of madness behind it. Of course, that's what makes love so mysterious sometimes, the outcomes, just the little bit of madness lying behind. Nice picture, too.
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I’m sure that some people look at villanelles and think they are easy to write because of the repetition of lines one and one and three, but I personally think they are very difficult to write because in using the same lines repeatedly in alternate stanzas, while keeping depth of meaning and interest ongoing throughout the piece, takes a lot of doing. In this poem I feel the author has achieved that with great satisfaction for the reader, and I can see why this piece has already won a gold trophy.
As an English person, I’m assuming the language used is Spanish and only think this because many years ago I learned a little of the language from a South American. If I’m correct then the translation of the title is a wonderful addition to the content of the poem which reinforces it throughout. Using a second language in a poem adds the potential for a wider audience, especially when the translation of it is relatively easy, and I think it is in the poem if readers take time to consider the lines.
The imagery in the poem is strong in each stanza, which follows smoothly from one to the next with ease. I particularly like to see love being affiliated with music and nature and though this can be a little clichéd in love poetry I think the images created within this write are fairly novel. I particularly enjoyed the line “on wings of song, up and away where dreams unhitch” because it incorporates both elements.
Personally I think this has to be one of the best villanelles I’ve read during this contest and I thank the author for bringing some pleasure to my day, for love is all the things described here.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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first of all let me congrat you on a gold win~ THIS is totally deserving! I loved everything about it~ It's eligent... Simply beautiful! Good luck in this contest! REALLY glad I got to read this one!
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"For love is ever flowing, it has no on, off switch" so very true of what true love is. some have forgotten and switch love as they do their socks. the form you used for this write is quite effetive/affective. i admire your usage of the form as it is one that i find a bit difficult. i like the repetition though i do not know what "Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor" means. may i ask the translation of it from you. i would appreciate it. thank you very much for the entry into this raven qualifier and i wish you the best of luck in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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Excellent
Nice poem. It has a very soft feel to me, even its rapture and exclamations seemed so soft and well-controlled.
It gladdens my soul. (=
Very good poetry on love.
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this is really good. even tho I have no idea what Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor means I enjoyed reading your magical poem. good luck in my contest xxShadowEaterxx
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Very creative
You really showed such depth and power with this poem. Not surprising it won the gold.
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I like the use of Spanish (i HEART the language) and flowing rhyme. Should i have one critique for your poem it would be to say that your rhythm was off it bit in parts. For example, the last line in the first stanza has more syllables then the rest of the stanza, throwing off the beat. Should i have two critiques, the second would be to say not to switch the structure in the last stanza. While it does fit okay in this poem, i personally don't like the semi-sonnet style. Unless you are using a style that i have not seen before, i don't prefer it to other styles. I am, however, very glad you stuck with an ABA (or in the case of the last stanza, BBAA) rhyme structure. Most people are not able to find rhymes for the same two words over and over again, but you did well.
Now, as for your authors comment, i believe you did a wonderful job in showing me why i should pick yours. It is a good thing to further extend your poem by explaining both the feeling you have when writing it AND the feeling you project (or try to, which in this instance, you did) within your poem. And personally, i love the title. Thank you for the entry and good luck. -
Wonderful!
I love how you put the title into a different language in your poem. I like the subject it was about too. And this has a very good rhyme scheme as well. well done.
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wow, i have no idea what i just read but i know i loved it, it was something to make the heart jump, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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well done
Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
romantic spanish and /or portuguese adds such a flavor
and the writing here blends well it is like english with a castilian attitude..very nice writng and very imaginative
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Beautiful!
This was just wonderful! So beautifully written. I love this form, your poem is so romantic with great use of imagery! Thank you for entering such a brilliant poem! All the best to you!
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