Sickly sweet kisses of a world too much my own
A creation from the darkened lies that were threaded together
and sewn with the hatred and angst of the teen hearts
A dark alley way, the halls covered in the blood we spill,
the mixing of our own and of others, our stupidity
We claim to know about our own destructive nature, yet we don't deal
We explain we've tasted the bittersweet taste of life's miseries
Yet we've tried not to concern ourselves
Diving into this drug infested womb, we hope to hide away
Praying for only the hope of a lighted fire, either to die or live
We cannot see past the materials before us, for it is all we have
Money, cars, sex, drugs, drinking, we all crave the sinful elixir
Hoping to either have a taste or drown in it, our life and blood spilled
Sharing our own lives with each other, we feaster the wounds we all know exist
Cutting into each other with our own sorrows as we fall apart
together promising to never let each other fall
yet we treasure moments only when all we have is to hold each other
Sinful delay, days of night and salt filled tears, only one last wish
To be understood for that hopeful second, why is it we know what we want
yet do nothing in this fight to reach it
Passed out on the couch of some stranger who you hoped to find comfort
Is it love, in our sinful existence that we all crave to taste
Yet when those who find it are deemed unworthy of the place they've held
To put to test this feeling, like cats and dogs we turn against each other
Ah, if only the world of youth could see, right before each other
We are each other's own friend, all knowing the craving and desires
The burning acidic feeling inside our hearts and core
Tasteful elixir, only one moment we could be somber and see
Connected is all we needed, by burnt black strings
Author notes
Black is the color of choice
A contest entry
- Only the Strong Survive by Quixotically Yours.
550 points, ended February 21, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything!!! by LivinitupCutie.
450 points, ended July 28, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspired By A Colour by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended September 5, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please This Dark Mind of Mine by FinalWhisper.
700 points, ended September 23, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Whoa
This piece started out slow for me-but I quickly got into it as meanings register and words flow through my mind. This work gave me the chills and I in no small way love and adore what I think you are trying to say.
As a work...it could use some work because though it flows nicely and the emotion is strong, the way it plays out makes it feel a little smashed together-but then again, that goes well with the subject matter. A great write that I hope to someday talk to you about in more depth concerning a collection of numerous writers on certain, real life subjects as touched on by you in this piece.
Most excellent and thank you for the entry.
Truly and Darkly,
Dirk
-
I like your new look on things, I love how expressive you have put this and used your own inspiration.
-
wow you've gone so in depth with this poem I'm really amazed by it..beautifully done!!!..thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
Keep penning!!!
Lieu
-
The imagery is Fantastic. Well done Ma Petite
-
I love your use of vocabulary, and the images you've evoked are vivid, raw, and absolutely fantastic. I really liked this, although I must admit, it was a bit hard on the eyes because of the overall layout and the lack of periods at the end of sentences. I'm not sure why, but I'm completely taken with the phrase "burnt black strings". It's poetic and beautiful, and romantic in that way that isn't intimate.
Thanks for entering my contest! -
wow all i have to say is wow great write
great image
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
