Softly spoken silence
The words not said
Dealt the death blow
I prayed that you might scream
That fists might fly
That tears might spring
But you only smiled at me
Your hollow eyes belied your smile
Your cheery face could not distract
Your fear, and you succumbed
To the bane of lovers
The pox of friendship
The lie that wounds all other lies
You did not love me well enough
To crush my pride and quell your fear
And say the words you should have said
The words you thought I could not hear
You spoke to me the greatest lie
The lie of silence
Pierced my ears
Author notes
I wish I could have written something with some form, but this will have to do. I'm just not feeling very inspired at the moment.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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SO WONDERFULLY EXPRESSED!
I think this a wonderful write, Your words say so well just how much silence can hurt, not saying anything is sometimes so painful, the truth is always the best .
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Very good
I really liked this. The form doesn't have anything to do with your wonderful words. you've done a great job on this poem and the flow. Excellent work and definitely a great emotional write. Thank you for entering and the best of luck to you. Kassie -
yes, being uninspired poses a bit of a problem. this poem has potential to be great, but it turns out to be only very good. i really liked the ending though.
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Not bad. This is a pretty good write. Good luck!
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Smooth and flowing by turns, soft...yet powerful. It alternates between crashing like a storm surge and weaving words into a potent plea.
I'll have to browse your others.
...Will
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The ending was powerful....and what imagery....
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hmmm. quite nice, really. You have some good passages:
'The lie of silence
Pierced my ears'
this is powerful, although simply stated. I also liked the third stanza. I hope you don't mind me saying that 9i'm honest to a fault) but I sense here a potentially great gift for writing that isn't yet ripe, but holds much promise.
well done!
*hugs*rachel
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This is no ordinary love poem. The imagery is fantastic! 'Sharp and cold as icy slivers' Simple but excellent! I really feel the pain in your words. I don't think rhyme matters. In fact, in my opinion, if you had made it rhyme, it would have ruined it. Be
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Very emotional.
'The lie of silence'
Beautiful. X -
The words you thought I could not hear
You spoke to me the greatest lie
The lie of silence
Pierced my ears
thats fucking incredible I loved it this runs so smoothly its strong and powerful I loved this really i did great job thanks for entering good luck
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