Azure glimmers toss the light
silver sparkles dance in rows
Moonshine glistens in the night
Scintillations smooth and bright
shimmer as the water flows
Azure glimmers toss the light
Twirling twinkles taking flight
ghostly glitters softly glow
Moonshine glistens in the night
Winking spangles pure and white
caper on the ice plateau
Azure glimmers toss the light
Gleams of gemstones leap and fight
to outshine their lustrous foes
Moonshine glistens in the night
Icy fires come alight
as twilight slips into repose
Azure glimmers toss the light
Moonshine glistens in the night
Author notes
username: ontarah
evil angels are best
Option 1. This form is called villanelle.
This is basically a description of moonlight reflecting off the icebergs.
Villanelles are a French form that is 19 lines long with a rhyme scheme and repeating refrain scheme as follows:
Refrain 1 (a)
Line 2 (b
Refrain 2 (a)
Line 4 (a)
Line 5 (b
Refrain 1 (a)
Line 7 (a)
Line 8 (b
Refrain 2 (a)
Line 10 (a)
Line 11 (b
Refrain 1 (a)
Line 13 (a)
Line 14 (b
Refrain 2 (a)
Line 16 (a)
Line 17 (b
Refrain 1 (a)
Refrain 2 (a)
A contest entry
- Picture This II - Amaze Me by Cupcrazy.
400 points, ended February 7, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Forms/Dirty Pretty by the evil angel.
400 points, ended May 10, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I've already decided I will look into the villanelle. Although it still really intimidates me, so I'll probably be asking EVERYBODY who wrote a villanelle for help. Keep that in mind. I really like your vocabulary here. "Scintillations" is truly a wonderful vocabulary word. I love it when poems use different words and spice things up more. Good job.
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Lovely!
Beautiful description of moonlight's reflections! My favorite lines are, "Azure glimmers toss the light", and, "winking spangles pure and white". What interesting words to use in your description!
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I have always loved french styl poetry it is , wo very fromanitc in the tempo of reading. Kyrielle is one of my favorites.
Excelent job.
Shadows -
Beautiful write liked the way it flows. It was magical and enchanting. Amazing write. (Lisa)
"Winking spangles pure and white
caper on the ice plateau
Azure glimmers toss the light
Gleams of gemstones leap and fight
to outshine their lustrous foes
Moonshine glistens in the night"
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This is a lovely entry, I like the meter and your thoughts, the rhyme is well done as is the flow. Thanks for this great entry.
Bunny
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Very nicely done. I'd only suggest utilizing non-capitalization of first word in line except at beginning of sentences and utilizing enjambement, which serves a villanelle very well. Title could be a bit less generic as well, methinks. Let the reader in a little on what to expect.
Some nice imagery:
Gleams of gemstones leap and fight
to outshine their lustrous foes
deLighting to see the form, Daniel
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I had thought something similar about the enjambment, but in a lot of ways I never really intended to have lots of complete sentences. I was mostly thinking of short descriptive phrases being compared even though I know that's not neccesarily the best or traditional way to do a villanelle. I suppose it's somewhat free verse disguised as a villanelle. I will definitely try to encorporate more structured thought the next time I do a villanelle, but then I'll probably try to tell something of a story instead of just describing something.
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This is very good.
"Gleams of gemstones leap and fight
To outshine their lustrous foes"
This is great imagery. Makes the poem come alive!
Thanks.
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i really like the begging of this pice.everything seems to be thought out very well and it all just came together nice job!
♥♥
sam -
I do like the introductory lines backs up the title and sets up the atmosphere of the write. Good to see poetic form like the villnelle . I hope you do well in the contest I found this poem a pleasure to read and following through to the ending i am taken back into the beginning and these are the thoughts i am to linger over.
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