we've been swept away with yesterday's
chalk
hopscotch
where hands met crotch
and I can't even remember
thinking it could be
simple.
the throw chose my path
and I just tried
not to fall
as I took a deep breath;
plugged my ears
to mommy's sermon on looking
-both ways-
before jumping into traffic
of pretty boys'
cars that drive
too fast to catch,
and leave
pretty girls'
feelings
in black,
week-old
tire tracks.
just straddling the cracks
that will break
our own starved backs
and it's turned out
that this square-
whatever shape it may assume-
is so much more
scary
than your worst
wetting-bed,
wet-waking
nightmare.
Author notes
hopscotch.......
feel free to delete kendal babbbbes
In a list
A contest entry
- NV Mixed with Hush-Hush Lips by bird-mad girl.
1250 points, ended March 3, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ Do You Bleed Glitter? ♥ by Dead Star--x.
450 points, ended March 22, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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hmmm idk.. still like it
than your worst
wetting-bed,
wet-waking
nightmare.
like the shoprt rhymes lots ♥ *added*
x-amount of words -
I loved this my sexy dolly
Of course I'm NOT GOING TO DELETE THIS.
It's beautiful.
I loved how you mixed innocence with teenage sex.
It was so effective and BEAUTIFUL.
You've stolen my heart baby face
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Kendal will never delete this *crazy* "this square, whatever shape it may assume..."
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we've been swept away with yesterday's
chalk
hopscotch
where hands met crotch
and I can't even remember
thinking it could be
simple.
the throw chose my path
and I just tried
not to fall
as I took a deep breath;
plugged my ears
to mommy's sermon on looking
-both ways-
before jumping into traffic
of pretty boys'
cars that drive
too fast to catch,
and leave
pretty girls'
feelings
in black,
week-old
tire tracks.
yeah. i pretty much copied && pasted the entire poem here...but i ♥ that.
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wuv you babbbbeeeeecakes =]
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before jumping into traffic
of pretty boys'
cars that drive
too fast to catch,
and leave
pretty girls'
feelings
in black,
week-old
tire tracks.
amazing.
just like you, miss. ♥ -
-
♥
-
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CraSH IS amazing. i entered this too. Your awesome.
we've been swept away with yesterday's
chalk
hopscotch
just straddling the cracks
that will break
our own starved backs
Faves< -
what the hell, I could of sworn I responded to this but for some reason I came back and saw I didn't ... weird. Must have been in the back of my mind that I read and didn't respond. Now that you know that ...
this is kind of mixed and jumbled up but that's okay 'cause that IS what society is (oh and it's fucked up).
"before jumping into traffic
of pretty boys'
cars that drive
too fast to catch,
and leave
pretty girls'
feelings
in black,
week-old
tire tracks"
--I love how this is broken up into shorter lines. We're out of breath by the time we hit the street, no time to look and we get hit 'cause our hearts can't tell our mind "he's gonna fuck you up" ... do I make sense to anyone? Oh well.
"our own starved backs"
--my back needs some professional care I feel. Too stubborn though, just reminded me of that.
"that this square-
whatever shape it may assume-
is so much more
scary
than your worst
wetting-bed,
wet-waking
nightmare"
--crazy ass ending, I must say. I love it, I can't help it
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as;lkfjdlsakjdf;lksajl'df
I love you!!!
and your amazingtastic comments!!
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we've been swept away with yesterday's
chalk
hopscotch
where hands met crotch
love the contrast between innocent and dirty here
love you like a *
xxxxx
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I like this.
It's a bit muddled towards the end
but mostly I think that's because my mind is on a bunch of other things.
"I took a deep breath;
plugged my ears
to mommy's sermon on looking
-both ways-
before jumping into traffic"
loved that part.
ily more though<3
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♥
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