drowning your pen marks
in a bowl
full of liquid
that looks a lot like
a lemon juice
whirlpool
Author notes
not like Richard....
but this came to mind.
username:
xxCarCrashHumorxx
[flushing a love note or poetry down the toilet]
In a list
A contest entry
- Brautigan- Contest: SurelyWritten by SurelyWritten.
450 points, ended February 9, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like it, it reminds me of flushing love notes that you're too scared to give down the toilet and ones you wish you never got, too funny. Great write!
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"soggy paper" makes for both a strong metaphor and a good title.
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Richard wants to get in the lemon juice whirlpool, no doubt.
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reminds me of the giant orange pen i write love notes with- then i shred them.
thanks for entering- this actually does remind me of Brautigan's 'Love Poem'- You should look it up sometime.
good luck
-Shirley- -
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thanks Shirley, I'm excited to read all the entries!
have fun judging.
-crash
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reminds me of the giant orange pen i write love notes with- then i shred them.
thanks for entering- this actually does remind me of Brautigan's 'Love Poem'- You should look it up sometime.
good luck
-Shirley-
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Explain it to me darling. I didnt catch the second meaning
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it's about taking a love note and flushing it....
that's basically it.
lol -
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OoOo. I get it knwo. gracias. && thx for your comments
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"a lemon juice
whirlpool"
--even though this could be taken as piss in a bowl as it probably means considering it's about flushing a love note down the toilet but it could also be a very pretty image ... that in itself deserves applause.
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heheh, thanks babe
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