A raindrop strong of mind,
staring straight into what
other droplets he saw,
being wise of the world,
and seeking his answer
for why they suspended
in their known existence,
stood strong with the others.
One day he saw drops rise
straight into the sunlight,
forcing him to look up,
causing him to peer down,
and making him rethink,
for he saw the dirt earth
which he was headed for.
A contest entry
- Can You? [A Challenge Waiting For A Call!!] by crimson rose 247.
500 points, ended February 7, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give it your all by livelife.
450 points, ended February 13, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your prewrites!!!!! by Nereida Nightshade.
450 points, ended February 19, 2007, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very well written the flow is good and it really grabs at the reader. Well done thanks for entering it in my contest it was a pleasure to read.
. Rewarded 4
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Insightful. Good Poem. Good Luck in the Contest!
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Excellent
Simply wonderful. An insightful piece of mind put across in a lucid manner. So short, and sweet, and packed with nuggets of knowledge. Indeed, one cannot rise or even understand the true worth of rising in life in whatever one may do, unless one begins at the beginning. The poem is also a natural expression of the cycle of life which goes on forever. You have written so well. Keep up the good work. Good luck, God bless. Be happy
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Wow! I really enjoyed reading this - the message youve tucked away in your piece is so profound
this is one of those provoking writes. However i still think you couldve expanded on it - it just seemed like you were trying to rush your thoughts - just a suggestion. Best of luck in both contest!! Thankyou for sharing this piece - much enjoyed the read 
_nOva
. Rewarded 4
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Oooooh
got me thinking, I like it pretty much. Thank you for your submittion. I like the personification and the metaphor used. I wish you used more terms that builds on the raindrop, or even rain; drizzle; descend; translucent... anything to describe his state, you made him sound too much fo a human being. It is not a bad thing, but it kills personification [well in my opinion...] If you make the reader forget the objects actual state. you do hold it in the title, but titles can be misread, and misinterpreted, and sometimes tend to take out much of the poem, than add. It wasn't the case here, but I would have maded have more relation to the raindrop, so people would envision their state as the metaphor portrays. I am just being this critical because this is how great your poem is, and how it can slowly make its way to become a masterpeice. Good luck -
A nice little trip for a rain drop, but yes, it is a nice metaphor for life, but also adresses the way we think in society, following the crowd.
. Rewarded 4
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It's a nice metaphor for life.
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