The geese walk on this morning’s ice
waiting for the sun to
paw its way through to the water;
winds tumble off the mountain,
snow spilling out of its pockets
scattering across the landscape.
We fight over the covers,
surrender to each others need for heat,
create chills, become irrational,
rush up each others hillsides
and then, become
still enough
to hear
snow
whisper
to a halt
on the sill
outside the bedroom.
11:59 PM
01/30/07
Massanutten, VA
Author notes
This is the last in the cycle. Those of you, who have read them all, know my magic and are sure to dance with me amongst the crocus as the snows melt. Follow me all the way to the ocean front and the salty tang of summer again coming up the face of the beach.
In a list
- The Mountain Flows Into The Sea - arc of 5 poems • next in list
- If I had done as I was told, look at what I would have missed • next in list
A contest entry
- Can You? [A Challenge Waiting For A Call!!] by crimson rose 247.
500 points, ended February 7, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Surrendering to each others need for heat...Rush up each others hillsides...End of the cold and begins the heat
what a wonderful ending begging for more! Thank you so much!
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When we, humans, complete our love it is not just the orgasim or making love, it is this more in the silence where we can hear each other like a fresh breath or falling snow fill us. Love, Tom B.
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tomisb
yes the most precious moments are when we say nothing at all
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"winds tumble off the mountain,
snow spilling out of its pockets
scattering across the landscape."
Great descriptions herein, Tom...I enjoyed this one, as well...Congratulations on winning the bronze, my Friend...well~deserved, indeed... Wanda
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Just two sentences. My way of summing it all up. Like my newest two. Very short and poignant. Love, Tom B.
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What a wonderful way to end the series. Beautiful words Tom - and you've once again added that slight element of 'routine' to your poem with the line "We fight over the covers" that brings your words to that relatable/comfortable level
Your imagery was phenomenal...as I can say was with all the poems in this series.
Loved reading this - I can imagine that people would absolutely love it too Tom
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I haven't read any in this series at an open mic yet. I will let you know what happens if you like. So far the response has been strong. I think most people have a problem with seeing poems as a series, but that is because they have not experienced it that way as yet.
You are right about the routine, the ordinary -- it all become extraordinary when we see how it symbolizes what makes "us" special. Thanks for the reviews. I always enjoy your thoughts and insights. Love, Tom B.
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This is quite lovely, Tom, and filled with perfect simplicity. You have created such a wonderful visual here, and I can almost sense all that you describe. You get some clappies for this one
Saffron
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Seemed the right note
I actually wrote the rough draft mid-way through the vacation. When I got home, I was reveiwing and editing my drafts. This was such a lovely picture and seemed the right note to bring things to an end.
Thanks for sharing your pleasure. Love, Tom B.
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Interesting
This reminds me of a poem called 'Easter Wings' it was done in the same format.
Look it up in poetry sites, if they didn't wreck the alignment. This one was such a call to that, I adore it and salute you for having done justice to the poem and the format. Two sentences, this is great! Thank you for your wonderful submittion, and good luck.
[look up 'Easter Wings' you might have more in common than you think.] -
And so the contemplation comes to a sweet end, as the snow melts, the world calls you back, but new growth in spring is sure to inspire and summer is a blessing we all have in our hearts.
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Absolutely Beautiful!!
You have a wonderful way of making anyone reading feel like they are right there with you fighting over the covers then relaxing in the after glow.......Very nice and as always well written.
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Clever Pattern and a Great Form
You have given us a feast of poetic reads, and now before us a stem glass of chardonnay, sweet but dry just like a great white wine. Fighting over the coversin sensual play. I have enjoyed all of these reads, and will look forward to more....You always amaze me......write on!.........novy
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Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have going here. I like it. I loved all the playing with images that you had where you used nature as both a real thing and a metaphor and how you guys were fighting over the covers and heat. I thought it came out really cool. You did a great job of expressing yourself.
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beautiful
i see you have not lost your touch here. this is beautifully done as always. good luck in this contest you have entered. viyanna rosemarie
i will have to read the rest in this series before too long.
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wow i like it.. Keep up the good work
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"become
still enough
to hear
snow
whisper
to a halt"
Ahhh...how lovely this is, my Friend...what a serene thought, to be that still in the arms of Love...where even silence may gently whisper...Beautifully done, Poet...Good luck in the contest... Wanda
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I could feel the cold on the sheets as I read this poem...very well done...love the way the morning snow halts at the window sill...thanks for sharing
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I absolutely LOVE the shape of this poem. The geese, the mountains, pockets, "each other's hillsides"---all these images suggest curves. Great symmetry, and it all ends up looking like a cup or a goblet to catch the snow as it melts. At least that's how I saw it. Thanks for sharing this breathtaking poem
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Beautiful write, good job on this one.
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beautiful..this one made me smile and then sigh..beautiful..i can taste the snowflakes
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Oooh beautiful! Sigh....
I loved this! Such an understatement of the way your lovely poem made me feel!
Just....wow! Beautiful!
All the best to you, my friend! -
I think it needed to be "walks" for the first line
perfect presonfication
I enjoyed this -
beautiful
As always, so sensual and gentle...The way love is suppose to be....
That is why you are one of my favorites
Lynda♥
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this was soclassical and legned and ancitent write Myfavorite like the poet Robert Hobinson i tihnk his name is. Very deatiled within the nature green grasses of tree barks as you hunt around for deer of the mind
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Oh my god Tom1 This is magical. I felt like I was sitting there watching the geese struggle to get across the ice covered pond~ I can imagine snoggling up in a room with a loved one and looking to see snow fall .. This is a great way to start my day. Thank you.
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The last in the cycle is really a good way to describe this poem as completes a circle of thought in the vacation. I like the way you make the wind a catalyst which unsettles--even from the snow--the same way the couple does as old routine makes itself felt again. At the end, the stillness makes way to leave a sweet memory and is permeated with reluctance.
~ Karen
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oh what a night
and oh what a place. A friend used to have a condo there and we spent many good times there (summer and winter)It is such a beautiful area....as is the entire Shendoah valley (a favorite camping and climbing place as well thanks for sharing this
much love
xoxoxoxo
reenie
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Oh, I almost forgot
you talked about the geese in your response to my review of Phantasm. I thought you might of enjoyed the geese in "Vacation's Last Night" I am glad to see you know so well the joy of the Shenandoah Valley, Skyline drive, Big Meadow -- All of that and so much more. It is serene but full of energy. Love, Tom B.
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