shadowed
reminiscing about souls gone past
forever seed in hallowed ground
the meaning of freedom
defined at last
in a showering storm of dedicated steel
life and death became one moment surreal
prayers were uttered and curses screamed
could the vision really be what it seemed
reality tv commercial free
let freedom ring
past the singular dissipation of a newborn's cry
mushroom clouds and ashes of hate
reigning over the fate of every mortal man
do we give up
or fight for the loss
yes we can
choices are made
on the earth's corners squared
perpetually crouched men live in burrows under sand
while jungles lay fertile past this barren strip
& the color of famine is bloated belly black
& so it goes in circular solidity
let freedom ring
in cracked bell tone
we are not alone rage on rage on
an eye for an eye
makes the world go blind
bleached bone white
sand stoned tan
yellow, black
or mandarin red
does any of that matter
when you are dead
visions through the eye of a needle
sewn with time and raped by reason
sins are erased by the holy fire of love
buildings are erected
and fall down
bones to ashes
we can only kiss the shadow
of reasons selected
hate is rebar trapping the soul
forgiveness screams in the thinnest silence
all hearing ears alleviating pain
allowing memories to flood faintest gray
& spring brings forth grass so green
each blade a promise of things yet unseen
A contest entry
- A Sound of Thunder by Mystikrypton.
411 points, ended February 22, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
good po
-
There are several points here
firstly this line "sewn with time and raped by reason" is worth the price of admission.
This poem, although not as consistent as what it could be is head and shoulders above any others in the comp, and certainly better than the winner. It has a great structure, an interesting pattern and thoughts that come only with experience.
And what is really a little baffling, only one other comment; it deserves better than that. Certainly deserved to be placed and commented on
David

-
Wonderful
You truly captured the title in your words that the poem so expresses. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.




