Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

how birds fly

 

 

the flight of birds is buoyancy,
efficiency & lift,
a sensitive noise in the silence.
the language of feather & zephyr,

the rise & fall rhythms of heart
beat -- efforts of tendon & bone --
an aileron angled on airborne,

lithe lines from a laureate's pen.

the raison d'être in vessels,
a lightness of carriage & hollow,

freedom outlined by the fleece & the plume,

not merely the muscle or wing,

though it seems by design -- propagation  

-- it's verve in each quiver or quill.

still,

height is a vision of relative price
burning white as a fast moving star
& birds exist quickly to happen
as specialists shaped for the sky,


in lives, which collapse

to ascend & descend -- a journey to ends

all the same,
but avian lungs never run out of breath,

birds breathe as they fly into wind.

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 73 of 73

  • adios muchachos gold member
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I liked this

    I also like Neruda and I can speak Spanish. You quoted him on your Machu Pichu page, but I'm having trouble translating, "That prick on the cross" into Spanish.
    Do you speak Spanish? Maybe you can help!


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      June 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Ah.... sadly no I can't, but it's a language I've always wanted to learn ..

      I can say hola! though



  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Swear words!

    This is the first time I've wanted to swear in my comment.
    I love it, love it, love it.
    It makes me want to cry, the subject is in every way so close to my heart, in my appreciation. Then the last stanza returns it directly to our 'bird-ness' encouraging us to keep our wings spread. Just beautifully delivered.
    I don't think I will be able to write in the same dilute way again. I will perhaps be kind to my existing scribbles, by listing them while just about able, in order to make space for 'new'. I can't quantify how much 'education' you have delivered to me. Not the dry type the 'soul' type, which I feel quickened. You are indeed incredibly talented and masterful with your poetry and published it should be. My gratitude, Sol


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      April 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you! so very much, for your kind words. I appreciate them and my gratitude to you as well for giving this such merit.


  • Cherokee
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this Liza. When I read your political pieces, they get me all edgy and stuff... you're good at that. But when I read this type of poem of yours, I just marvel at your use of language and nature. This is how I like to think of you.


  • Pelican
    November 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful imges!


  • J.J. Sass
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent!


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    October 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    one of my favorite pieces by you



  • porksnorkel
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow.

    too right.


    seems like it indeed would be easier to breathe while tacking into a gale tight-eyed and smooth-cheeked. I'd do a little air dance, maybe a loop and a revolution before shrieking away to make a little V on the horizon


  • IronIcecream
    August 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wings have always been an ascending - transcending symbol
    who might have thought a few many centuries ago
    man will fly

    someone dreamt about it though
    and it wasn't a scientist
    but a dreamer


  • Emerald13
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    gorgeous ... i find it contemplative; love the feeling of light and air that moves between sounds, thought and language ... (lovely comments and suggestions offered on this one) >>> gina


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    May 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely adore this poem, surprised this slipped by me... so original and the language is sharp and efficient ..


    nice stuff Liza


    al


  • blur
    May 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is just wonderful...


    blur


  • windhover3 gold member
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent. The crisp detail of description counterposed with the heavy alliteration and other devices really created a wonderful tension for me to move it forward emotionally and intellectually. There are a number of wonderful phrases (birds exist quickly to happen), but they don't get in the way of the overall meaning which comes through wonderfully.

    I didn't quite like the last line as much as Lisa did... the rhythm is fine with the final anapest, and the image is exactly right. I also can't object to the simpler use of language as a turn from the scientific view point. I can't identify what it is that is keeping me from loving it quite so much as the rest of the poem, but that almost certainly indicates it is a personal hangup.

    Great job.

    Brian


  • Wildequill
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Liza, this is a stunning write - the standard of your quilling just seems to soar on the thermals. Unique approach and subject, brimming with metaphoric suggestion.
    This has been bookmarked without hesitation.

  • Odyssey
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    sublime, as always

    ...we often lift our eyes to the sky, to catch a glimpse of this majesty - it is as if we long to understand this thing we can never hope to achieve but through mechanical assistance. Yet birds do it so effortlessly, magic by design, there for us to experience only in those moments winged dreams carry us high over the cliff faces, soaring over the entrapment of our waking gravity...


  • Jersene gold member
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I like how you've constructed this, the physical science of birds and flight, the metaphors, the last stanza where all journies through life end the same...very profound write, masterfully composed! Stunning!


  • poetryality silver member
    February 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    First off, this is the second poem I have read today regarding birds. They are my most favorite creatures in all the world. Might be because they fly. Then again, it could be because there are so many different species, and varied hues.

    I love the consonance, and alliteration in this work. Love this line;

    "but avian lungs never run out of breath" I also love the graphic. An educational and enlightening poem, scholarly even.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • Lily of the Valley
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    As the bird is in harmony with nature, so there is harmony between your poem and science. It's a fantastic write and you should do more in this vein.


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love the idea of combining science and poetry - great flow, lots of information and very educational, as well as entertaining. Enjoyed the read.


  • Sensual Sapphire
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    What is there to say in the face of greatness?

    If we could shrink down until tiny enough to crawl upon their backs and fly would we hide our eyes or reach for the sun? This piece makes the reader aware that they need to enjoy life to experience it fully. Birds never ponder their meaning here or cry over their plot. They just live.

  • shmoo
    February 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    your passion of birds really shines through....this poem reminds me of the book jonathan livingston seagull by richard bach!! it fits right in with the book


  • astralshepherd gold member
    February 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I've never seen anything quite like this (that's what someone says when you serve them a green gelatin desert in the shape of small trout) but i really mean to say - this is utterly unique and thoroughly enjoyable . The word choice is brilliant – i would have run to Roget for help where you seem to have consulted Climatic and Environmental Criteria for Aircraft Design, Scale Effects in Animal Locomotion, or DaVinci … I love the images you’ve created here. …the sense of movement, i find a rhythmic flutter between the lines as i read this aloud…I adore the phrase “lithe lines from a laureate's pen” oh my…i think i’ve found another ‘favorite’ poet. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you! for a wonderful comment..
      I did read up on the mechanics of birds flight, then let it take me from there..


  • BeautifullyxTragic
    February 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful! So very descriptive.

  • piccola silver member
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful. Your use of metaphor is brilliant and the presentation is beautiful. I love the way it all looks like a scientific journal. The diagram and the bg..all in all, it's great.


  • tomisb
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    loved it

    The richness of metaphor for challenging our own lives and soaring into view, mixed with the warning to be careful about how long we can live on the edge. Even the Albatross comes to land. The use of the science and technology of flight woven with a deeply sensual language allowed This poem to create its own wind that warmed this poets heart. Love Tom B.

  • sapphirerose1961
    February 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I love the scientific and yet inricately detailed descroption of hou birds fly. Great mix!

  • sapphirerose1961
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hi. I love how thoughtful and delicate your description is. Elegantly depicted, mixed with scientific proof! Nice job!


  • cvillelisa
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I'm kind of smiling to myself here. You have added a scientific anatomy picture.

    I was talking with JustBe the other day -- we were discussing, well, we were discussing poetry of course and he said something about a Scientist. And I responded that Scientists don't write poetry. Well of course they do. Then I thought of WCW, who despite all his popularity, I don't really like very much past the plum poem and who JustBe really likes. He's a scientest I think, JustBe.

    That got me thinking about our conversation about Magic. Got me thinking that maybe there are two distinct veins in which the blood of poems flows -- those that believe in magic and those that don't. I don't know, I'm rambling.

    This is a poem about Life and a poem about Death. And maybe some of what goes on in between. Well that is what it seems about to me.

    Something I am certain about, is that for me, the magic, all of it, is in that powerful last stanza. The last line. (allow me a bit of drama but yes, breathtakingly good).


    Oh, how I appreciate your beautiful intricately thinking mind and your impeccable form, diction, word choice

    dammit, it still doesn't mean I don't sometimes have trouble getting inside.

    Never stops me from trying though. Persistent daughter of a bitch I am.

    Yeah, why don't you keep writing. That would be a good thing to do.

    Lisa


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      I meant to say this... yes it's about Life and Death..

      thank you for seeing that ..


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply



      Oh you know.. thank you for that.. wow.. yes..

      Art and Science.. they seem so directly opposed most of the time.. the absurd against the foundation, or so many say...

      but I don't see them that way, I can't.. if I did I'd feel as if I was split down the middle - whole.. to me they are two sides of one coin .. the coin being - creativity/intuition ..

      Were it not for creative innovation, science would still be scratching sticks across the ground making lines ..without worrying about adding them up.. and art ...without the fine skills and dimensions of the objective would have a difficult time presenting much ...besides fuzz..

      of course that's just the way I see it.. and yes scientists do write poems.. look at Carroll, a mathematician, ...just one example of many..

      but.. I suspect they might not seem that way to many who can't find themselves in the concepts.. which of course takes us back to ..what the heck is the purpose of art?

      to speak? to communicate? to see oneself? to learn?

      so many things yes??

      I think you're right -- I think there are ..distinctly different types of poem writers.. those who see Magic, and those who see a different thing as Magic..

      but I'd bet.. at the base it's the breath of the whole they're touching..


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Birds can breath through their hollow bones.
    it's nice to know that dinosaurs still live and in fact
    fly

    I live with many birds

    really great work here


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you! ..

      I love birds.. and yes isn't it great? ..great to know some of them had feathers too ( according to the most recent debates )

      I love dinosaurs too ..


  • truembrace
    February 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed every line of this piece - completely.

    The descriptives of flight was vivid and perfectly told throughout your verses.

    Simply a great piece overall... - Kimmie


  • JazzALTernative silver member
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Birds fly in an open system, but every flap of the wing brings them back to reality - oscillating between bouyancy and lift. Hmmm... Well, they are of the air while the 6th day creatures are of the ground. So air is the reality that they struggle with, while ground is ours. Our air is inside us and we deal with it at a compressed level.

    Very well structured poem. Thanks.


  • Ink Shadow
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting expansion of the metaphor on birds. I see an interesting image of ascending/descending (Escher's painting) and the philosophical depiction of a dimensionality collapse (if that is the word).

    D


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Interesting comment..

      yes..
      Escher created so many pieces that would fit that didn't he.. but then the man was a genius so no surprise ..



  • seriea89
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, I like the whole extended metaphor on birds, And I always appreciate when poets leave me a swath of room to interpret for my own personality and purposes. Favorite line- "Height is a vision..." well really that whole stanza. I really cant complain about this in anyway shape or form! Very nice, I look forward to your future writes!

    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you very much.. I look forward to future ones by you as well.


  • Lute
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Why wonders is there a similarity here with the writing of the poem itself. Where in the world does flight take you but to freedom?
    Questions is raised.
    Who is more free, the bird or the poet? (laying aside the poet's humaness, if you will) nevertheless,

    the raisonne d'etre of course,

    what is a laureate but the winner of a gleamy thing, and perhaps not a poet at all. (it remains to be seen, as do most things) and perhaps, the best way to see is to be up above,

    flight of fancy, you see...the dream.

    And who's to say that birds do not dream


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you ..

      a poet.. a true poet, perhaps is very much a bird? a flight and song, not of one but for all.. the dream.





  • AJ Morelli gold member
    February 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful...


  • Love of a Bullet
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a great way to start my day. I loved the reference to the "laureate's pen"... a nod to the unquie form you provide to the creatures.

    What does "raisonne d'etre" mean? I could probably look it up, but I still might not get your meaning.

    "in lives which collapse
    to ascend & descend -- a journey to ends
    all the same,"

    This sort of imagery and brillance in flow is so distincly yours, that you should consider a copyright... :-)


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Your comment was a great way to start mine.. : )

      raisonne d'etre .. basically translates to 'reason for being/living' ..or thereabouts.

      thank you.. very much.. ( sorry for such a short response - I'm not awake.. lol )


  • B2oH
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Flight begins with with the beat of wings, feather hard against air, but then fades away to silence....where thoughts (that "sensitive noise") can be heard.

    The second and third stanzas well echo the hand..following those thoughts in flight...in pen across paper....a migration from "there" to this.

    And in this, you well demonstrate the catch of breath from wind, the pull of words into metaphorical lungs....to be exhaled as sheer beauty as you reach for new heights.

    I find no lack of emotion -- but rather the passion of observation translated to a feathered soar of intellect.

    Birds indeed do fly. Today's word is plumage (that display and appearance by which birds can be indentified).


  • Jonathan ROBIN
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Promise...sing

    One hand clapping ...

    As Marie mentioned context reinforced content and layers of emotion are more reactions to absence thereof than complementary thereto - even though they trigger complimentary reactions to AP (Attention Poor) who create imaginary dreams for lack of concrete appreciation.

    One respects as author your right to appreciate double hyphens, ampersands - while some commentators may also effectively feel distaste.

    IMHO Had 'a' and 'the' been used as often in your poem as in this comment its effect would have stream...lined more effectively



    "as for the hyphens, I like them, then again I also like the ampersands which some have stated a distaste for.. "


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I fully respect people saying they don't like them, and I can also understand why. My reason for using them is visual and not related to anything here. I find the shape of the ampersand more peaceful on my eye the softness of the shape .

      I dislike seeing the word and typed over and over, though I know it's fully correct, the same with the 'the'. We all have our specific oddities.. which is what makes us all wonderfully human...

      thank you for your comment.


  • -ButterflyCuts-
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Mmm.. I like this. It really reminds me of my music lesson today- I was writing an essay on the contours of a piece of music.. the rise and fall of the notes. This read to me a little like this not only in the description, but the style

    A really lovely piece here.
    jess-x


  • MayDecemberSun
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love birds, and what a lovely description of their habits and flight! I also love the comparision to writing and the knowledge you show of birds and their anatomy. I like the flatness of emotion expressed here, the coldness almost of it--it makes this a very effective, unsentimental piece--and often a lack of sentimentality makes great poetry. Well done.


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply



      thank you... I so often wonder about that lack of emotion, whether it bites back in the end ( if people find it cold )

      so thank you... it helps.. to know it works for some..


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly may I comment on the look of the poem, a very important thing. You have taken the bold step of using the background of a spiral notebook, and a courier font, by which I take it you want us to concentrate on the words alone, devoid of any distraction. You are bold. I like that. I actually find the font a trifle ugly, and I do not like the double hyphens, but that is just a matter of taste, and I am trying not to let it distract me from the poem.

    Secondly, I see your point in making this also devoid of emotion, because what you are capturing is the essence of the bird, not your reaction to it. Another paring down, and again a bold one. Again, much appreciated.

    "like words from a laureate's pen" and "like a fast moving star" are both similes. I never find similes convincing, particularly in the middle of other images, metaphors, and so on. It seems to me that finding a way of saying something actually IS the thing to which the simile compares it, is a much more vivid and powerful device.

    Nonetheless fine work.


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you very much...
      regarding the similies, I agree with you. I edit everything, though sometimes it takes me a while to find the exact words I'm looking for, however when I do, I remove the similies..

      as for the hyphens, I like them, then again I also like the ampersands which some have stated a distaste for..
      thank you .. for not letting them detract.

      words should stand on their own? shouldn't they.. formatting and images are pretty, and done right they can often add.. but they should never be used [ as I see it ] to fill in for something missing..


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    now you've made me wish i were a bird, more than ever. you wrote this piece beautifully, elegantly in fact. thank you for sharing this with me and i am looking forward to reading more.

    viyanna rosemarie


  • jakeofspades
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To me this poem explores the beauty of life, I would like to think of living as the beating wings of a bird.


  • Aurielle
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I wanted to hear more emtoions not just show but tell me I want to know how you feel.

    It felt like mesmorizing of words that was read to m


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you..

      I don't really like adding in 'emotions' ..at least not many when I'm working with 'objects'.. for me it's more about capturing the 'thing' in those situations, and letting that thing, in this case the flight of birds -- be what it is to the reader, as far as feeling goes..

      thanks for your comment


  • kala chimera
    February 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is absolutely amazing - such imagery... wow.


  • Ava Noire silver member
    February 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    if ever a poem deserved a WOW, it is this one!


  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am honoured to have seen this develop in the background.... i listened and learned.. and then we talked about bodyline and muscles..

    and how shapes can form in our minds from words... Stefi is so right.. there are some amazing words here.. that takes this piece, from just being about flight and birds.. to being ethereal and earthly and poetically anantomical... with precise placing, you make this piece breathe... with an eagles eye and the lightness of a sparrows touch

    it is amazing poetry Liza....






  • ca ne fait rien
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know if you do it on purpose or not, but I always find the definitive word in your poems. In this case 'aileron'. This marries the technical with the natural image, and also ties the idea of man's whole obsession with flight (and what it has ultimately done to the natural environment, brought home to us in the final lines-) with the glorious picture of the birds. The aerodynamics as studied by man from ancient times, through da Vinci, the Wright Brothers, the Orivlles, de Havilland to the rocket designers and engineers are all here in your poem. It especially touches me, because my friend's husband is both an aircraft designer and an artist who exibits and sells his wonderfully detailed paintings of birds and planes, which he studies and photographs intensively to figure out exactly what your poem figures out.
    You bring so many thoughts inspired by the images - pictures of the birds cutting the air, pictures of the magnificent men in their flying machines, but more. Everything in poemetry can be taken as a metaphor, concrete and abstract, and this poem is no exception- it also makes the reader look at the accepted metaphor for freedom, the bird, and examine the mechanics of it. The conclusion is not what we might expect.

    Oh shut up Stef.


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      again.... thank you for such a wonderful...wonderful comment, and yes I do put those words in deliberately.. IF... I can figure out how to make them seem like they aren't square wheels on a round cart..


      thank you!


      • ca ne fait rien
        February 6, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        I had meant to say, that identifying them is lke finding the key that unlocks the rest of the poem. I mean, the poems are all that poems should be without, but I love it when I find it, because it is like opening the beautifully carved door to see a breathtaking chamber through it.

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    there is a lot i could say about this piece, and many different associations i could make (words, thoughts, the dance) ... the piece is just amazing on it's own, and your ending lines ... well just made me grin ...


  • misselaineous
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the language of zephyr indeed - i love that line
    and verve in each quiver , such gentle wosshing sounds that mirror the beat of the wing

    i don't know anyone who can take the technical detail and knowledge and turn them into an exquisite composition of beautiful poetry the way you have here

    lovely
    makes me want to grow wings and fly away
    elaine


    • ArtFullyMe silver member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you!!


      I love ..working with technical things, they force me to slow down, stop ..and look at the method more closely..

1 - 73 of 73