.
Time
Time sifts,
Time sifts through,
Time sifts through space,
Through space
Through spaced drops;
Spaced drops
.......Drop,
.......Drop through,
.......Drop through memory
.......Fade into eternity.
.
Author notes
Background Aun : http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2420207091/
Pic http://flickr.com/photos/dalantech/439955309/
In a list
Courtesy welcome and extended
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Sometimes a tarball, sometimes a wraith-like zephyr, oft times a swift zip...see..now it flies
-
This is wonderful. You have captured a certain cosmic beauty. The structure of the poem itself makes me think of earthly and cosmic evolution, inching ahead, regressing, changing by degrees. The connection between time and space is beautifully captured and the change of meaning throughout the poem is effective. I think the last line might work better as simply "Into eternity", but that is just a suggestion. Overall a very god piece, and an interesting structure. Simple but complex.
K. F.
. Rewarded 8
-
You might want to go on and explain string theory. Nah, Im just joshin. It was really cool how you blended the middle of the poem into a different meaning or w.e
And how you Dropped the word drop. Clever
-
Very intersesting, to say th least,, i was very good, and i liked it alot,, drop thtrugh memory fade into eternty very deep moving lines i say!
-
Interesting and it's in a different style than what I usually read. I like it, but I just think it could be better. Maybe if you added more to it. Thanks for sharing
-
Ewwww I really like this one. You have done excellent with the style and the way you have made sure your words were made clear and to the point. Once again, nicely done!
-
Loved how you worked the repetition in this piece. In so few lines you've managed to say a great deal, when most people just try to fill up the required line length. lol. Thanks for entering. Not much more I can say about this piece but that I really liked it.
-
Nice
This is a very nice, easily read poem. I like the rhythm and tone of this.
Just like the spacing of real drops.
Thanks
. Rewarded 4
-
different, unique, like the grains of sand running through the hour glass... a very nice piece of art here, well done, Impressive
. Rewarded 4
-
I love how this could have gone on forever.... sometimes it feels liek that. good job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
